Monday, 18 June 2018

June Life Update; From My Bed


Hi Readers,

I'm ill in bed. I'm having a flare up of my IBS and it's making me feel like I've got a bad stomach bug. I'm not sure what's set it off but I've not been that careful about what I've been eating over the last few days. It's been hard because I've been working every day since Thursday - covering for the second receptionist it, my normal shifted then an extra one on Sunday I got asked to do. Also, I didn't have a date with my boyfriend and that's made me feel a bit lonely too.

I've not done much today though things seemed to be improving this evening, so I've just written two short stories for my blog and now I'm here writing this for a bit. Then I'll have to try and got to sleep but it's so hard when you need the loo all the time! I keep thinking I should write a separate blog about all of this but I've just not got around to it.

Anyway, I ordered three new books of Amazon two weeks ago now and they've been added to my reading pile, though I'm currently reading Red Queen right now. I only ended up getting them because Montenegro had been reduced to £3, odd from £14.99 and it's been on my to buy list for over a year now. It's the second book of a strange vampire series and I liked the first so getting the second was needed. But it's so expensive, so I had wait for a reductions and who could argue with that one? Then I ended up with the other two books because I didn't want to pay shipping!

I really wanted to read Red Queen as the first book Alice was so good. I so needed to do a review about it on here! Might do a combined one now though. Reading had helped me though much of the day and watching TV too.


I've also been flipping through this; my dad's guide to Cornwall as it were. We go away in about 4 weeks and my dad has put together this file of places to go, eat and shop etc. We all got to pick what we wanted to do and not wanted to do before hand and this is the print out with his notes. There's lots of cool places to visit like castles, manor house, museums, towns and beaches. Really can't wait for that as I love Cornwall a lot. Plus, my boyfriend is coming and I get to share the adventure with him. 

You can expect a blog post all about that real soon. Might have to divided into two parts as I know it's going to be a long one!



My dog has been really sleepy and wanted to snug into everything lately. Her favorite place is on the sofa in all the blankets. She also likes to bury her bones behind the cushions were my dad normally sits. We joke she is giving him presents as the pack leader! It's really funny when he sits on one though! 

It's days like today that make me super glad of my dog though, because I know I can pet her and she'll make me feel calm and I can tell her anything and she won't judge me for being ill. She's helped keep me going today. 


I wanted to share this last time I wrote but I couldn't fit it in that blog post. I've been busy making some baby things for my best friend who's going to have a little girl soon. I'm mostly done with knitting the things I wanted to make for her now and with some wool left over I wanted to start knitting my own stuff for that hopeful one day. 

I made this blanket but I wasn't happy with the shape. I'd asked my mum how many stitches and she said 50 but really I wanted 60. I was half temped to just unravel it and start again. The wool is chunky and soft and takes no time to knit but then I decided to keep it as maybe I could give it to one of my sister- in- laws or another friend some day. 

Now, I've got some more wool of the same kind but in a different shade; purple, blue and yellow mix which I really like and have made a teddy bear pillow out of in the past. I'm going to make a larger blanket and mum is going to make a hood to go with it. That should be really nice. 

I like knitting as it's nice to do whilst watching TV, I find sometimes, I can't just sit there, I wanted to do something and this is perfect for that. It keeps me busy when I'm ill and chilled too but I've not been able to focus to do any today. Might try tomorrow though. 


I've gotten into adult coloring big style and this is my current favorite magazine. How fitting that it's filled this month with two of my favorite animals - wolves and bears who are also my spirit animals. It made me really happy to see it on the super market shelf! 

This is another thing I like to do when I'm ill, bored or need to calm down. Though as much as I wanted too, I've not started on this one yet. Like knitting I need more focus then I've had today but soon I'll start and maybe I'll post some photos on here. 


In a slight connect to that, I've hung a dream catcher above my bed again. There was a prompt for a short story that had the imagine of one and I wrote a story that can be read on my other blog with it. I got reminded about how dream catchers are meant to capture the nightmares and since I've been having a few bad dreams/ nightmares lately including one were I was chocking to death and then woke up with asthma attack. 

I like to think of this dream catcher as being powerful because it has the wolf painting on it. Since I hung it up I've not had any nightmares and only one bad- ish dream. So maybe dream catches do work after all? Or maybe it's my belief that it will. Whatever it is, I hope it carries on and I can have more restful nights. 

That's it really for today or this night as it now is! I'm off to try and sleep a bit and hopefully feel better in the morning. Here's a cute photo of my snug teddies for tonight; Fifi fox and Astrid unicorn. They are so soft and comforting!  

Thanks for reading, see you next time. 


All photos used belong to me. 

Monday, 11 June 2018

June Life Update; A Visit To Hoghton Tower

Hi Readers,

So, today I wanted to share my trip to Hoghton Tower in Lancashire with you all.

Lately, my boyfriend and I have been struggling to find new places to go on dates too. In the last two years, we've been to a lot of places and done lots and though I like spending the weekends with him inside in front of the TV or playing games, I prefer to be out exploring places! 

We have many places we'd like to visit on our list but some of them are too far to travel to or too expensive right now. Plus, the next few weeks are set to be very busy what with my 30th birthday and a week in Cornwall with my family!

My boyfriend discovered this Tudor house wasn't a far drive from his house, so we decided to go and check it out. You can only visit the inside on a tour and you had to book on to a time slot. That cost includes the gardens too or you can pay just to walk in those. Sadly, we didn't get to do the gardens as we ran out of time. There was a large car show event on the day we went and so we timed our arrival for the ending of that which was lunchtime.

We missed the tour we were aiming for and had to wait an hour for the next one. We were able to go into the courtyard and see the outside of the house. Because you had to pay to be in this area it wasn't so busy. The car show was being held at the front and the fields either side of the driveway.


There was a really nice tea room just off the courtyard and it was thankfully empty when we arrived. We had lunch and cake before our tour. The tea room also sells afternoon teas there but they seemed expensive to me and I was happy with my ham sandwich and rainbow cake!


In the tour group there was only like eight of us and the tour took nearly and hour and a half. There was no photography or phones allowed in the house. The tour guard we had was really good. He was full of history about the house and got everyone involved by asking us questions. For example; why when King James 1 came to visit he decided not to stay in the room prepared for him? And who was depicted being crowned on a tapestry?

My favorite part was when he told us that Hoghton Tower is one of the most haunted places in England and though he hasn't seen or felt a ghost there has been times when he's come into the first bedroom and seen the cradle there moving by itself.

You can actually take ghost walks in the castle in the autumn/winter and I'm hoping my boyfriend books one of those for us to do later on in the year!

Hoghton Tower as well as being visited by kings and queens also had famous writers to visit, namely, Shakespeare and Dickens. The tour guide told us its rumored that Shakespeare was a friend of the family and taught the children. On the other hand, it is know that Dickens based on of his short stories at the Tower which he visited when it was in some disrepair.       

Close to the end of the tour and due to time, the group had to decided to visit the collection of dolls' houses or the priest hole and the well. We choice this last one which seemed more interesting. The house had many hidden holes and we got to see about three all together, though this last one you could really look inside it and get an idea of what it was like to have to hide inside.

The well was interesting because it was all inside and had a wooden mechanism to lower and rise the bucket. It was enclosed to protected from evading parties and insure the house had a supple of water. There was also a witch mark burned into the beam to keep evil away. The guide let some one drop a coin down and we heard after a good few seconds the splash of water.

The tour was really good and we learnt a lot! 


I did mange to snap the below photos which were in a room and corridor from the tearoom to the toilets. Though the actual rooms inside the house were far grander.   







This is a view looking into the gardens. I really wished we'd had time to visit them and the shop but we had only half an hour left after the tour and they had closed the shop early and my boyfriend was worried about traffic leaving the Tower. 

I told him we'd have to come back one day to see the gardens and I'm sure we will. 

So, if you are in the area of Hoghton Tower it's worth checking out! And that's it for today's post. I just want to leave you with a photo of my dog sunbathing. It's been really hot here for the last few days, surprisingly! And my dog is loving it. Me not so much though! I can't wait for it to get cooler again. 



All photos belong to me.

If you want to check out Hoghton Tower here's the link to their webside; http://www.hoghtontower.co.uk/

Monday, 21 May 2018

May Life Update; Books and More Books!


Hi readers, 

So I've now finished all the Harry Potters and I will get around to writing about them soon. I really need to get better at writing on here but I've just been busy and ill again and the whole job hunting is just a never ending spiral. Then when I think I should write on here, it's either gone past Monday or like today; I just didn't have time. 

Well, tonight I'm staying up a bit to listen to the new Five Finger Death Punch album and it seemed a good time just to catch up on here. (Though, I have my doubts if anyone actually reads this blog anyway. But it's been my corner of the internet for awhile now, so I just carry on anyway!) 

Take a look at the photo above! That stack of 24 books is my current to read pile! Not counting the 8 DeathNote mangas I have left in the series read and I hope I can review that at some point too. Yeah, so that pile should see me till the end of the year. I also have 9 books on amazon of which about two are out now and the rest on pre-order for autumn time and because some of those books I really want to read, I'll be pushing my pile further down when October comes! 

The book aren't actually in my 'to read' order, yeah I do actually have one of those! So if you are interested here's my plan; 

1. Rumblefish - actually finished last night! 
2 and 3. The Outsiders and That Was Then And This Is Now - currently reading. 
4. Fool Moon - 2nd Harry Desden, a surprise cheer up gift from boyfriend. 
5. Wuthering Heights - had cravings for some English Lit classics. 
6. Neverwhere -one of my favorite books. 
7. American Gods - taking on holiday to Cornwall in July. 
8. Dracula - Classic vampire novel! 
9. Frankenstein - Everyone needs to read the true original novel. 
10. The Monk - written in 1796! A true Gothic novel which I studied at uni. 
11. The Handmaid's Tale - dystopia from one of the best writers on the genre.  
12. Fight Club - 'the first rule of fight club is we don't talk about it!'
13. All Quiet On The Western Front - World War 1 was just as bad for the Germans. 
14. Empire Of the Sun - surviving WW2 in Japan. 
15. Alan Shaw - new steampunk fantasy story by an writer I'm supporting. 
16. The Haunting - ghost story for Halloween 
17. Dolly - creepy haunted doll. 
18. The Small Hand - carry on being scared. 
19. The Man In The Picture - last of the set. 
20. Haunted Nights - An anthology of ghost stories. 
22. Viking Myths and Sagas - Meant to be one of the best collections of Norse stories.
23. The Hero Of Ages - the 2nd in a fantasy trilogy, read the 1st last year. 
24. The Well Of Ascension - 3rd one. 

Of course, this list might change but that' a rough plan. At the moment the first 4 books are certain and so are 6 and 7, I guess it depends how much time I've before I go on holiday for Wuthering Heights as it might take me awhile to get back in to it. Shall see. 

I really need to starting doing more book reviews on here. I've read some good books lately, including one that still haunts me! Plus, some of the books (about 13) in the list above I'm re-reading for like the 3rd or 4th time as part of my plan to re-read books I read at uni/ college/ high school. That was meant to be the whole idea this year because I was on a book buying ban, but I just can't help it. Books are my drug and I find my favorite writers publishing new ones and books I like the sound of and then people buy me them too and it's so hard not to give in. At least it's healthy, right? 

I'll have to keep this list updated now and that'll probably happen on Goodreads which is my record of books now. https://www.goodreads.com/user_challenges/10477493/ My goal this year was to read 50 books and I've read 29 so far. Though, I might end up reading more then that but not 100 again, that was too much for me! 

The other thing I wanted to share tonight is this;


My mum has been knitting elephants for the past few months and not because of some weird craze but because I want one for a friend of mine. The rainbow one was too small and so cute that I wanted to keep her anyway. The pink and white one is made of squares that took my mum ages to do, so she decided she wanted to keep her, (I'm currently pressing for an 'Elmer'  multi-colored one like this!) Then grey one is the one for my friend because that turned out as I wanted and the two smaller ones were free in mum's knitting magazine this month. 

I still hope that one day I can knit something like this but my brain finds it hard. I've been knitting a play cube, booties and mittens though and they've turned out fine. My next challenge is to knit a baby jacket in a single piece and get to grips with more decreasing and increasing! I'll share that one here if I get it right. 

The album is almost over and it's just turned midnight so it's time for bed now. I'll have to come back soon to do my Harry Potter review. 

Till then readers, goodnight. 


Friday, 13 April 2018

April Life Update; Being Anemic.


Hi readers,

This is a quick post today. So, I've not been feeling great these past few weeks, I've had a bad head cold and then in infection in my leg. I've been blaming my tiredness and lack of motivation on those. Plus, my addiction to reading Harry Potter as also meant I've had little wanting to do anything else. 

Yesterday, I had my 4 monthly hospital appointment for my long term health condition and though all my blood results looked good, my iron level didn't. It's something I've struggled with over the years and normally the doctor puts me on a course of iron tablets and that helps. 

I've started to notice the signs myself over the last few years; the feeling of having a cold that never really develops, being tried and having no energy even after an okay night's sleep, not wanting to do much or not being able to decided what I want to do then just giving up on everything. then I take a few iron and multi-vitamin tablets and I improve again.

This time though it's super low, boarding on the worst it's been. So, the doctor said I had to have an iron transfusion. Which should help and then I can stop feeling so tried and unmotivated. I have to go into hospital to have it done. I have a fear that's a boarder line phobia of everything to do with hospitals. I don't like tablets or needles but it's not a phobia of them, I just think it's because I've only had a few good experiences of being in hospitals and all those bad experiences make me very nervous. 

Hopefully, I can have it done at another hospital where I've had good experiences and the nurses there are much nicer. In any case, it's just another thing I've to get through. 

On another note, I still have two book reviews I want to write at some point and of course my overall review of the Harry Potter books. I just finished book 4, so got another 3 to go. I'm really flying through them, so should have them all read by the end of the month now. It's just good to have something, easy to read and get swept into right now!

That's all I can write for the moment. Thanks for reading and hopefully, I'll be back to normal soon.  













Monday, 26 March 2018

March Life Update: White Scar Cave.


Hi readers,

I've been meaning to write for the past few weeks and then just not getting around to it! I've like three books I want to review on here too, so I really need to start that. Plus, I'm still job hunting and getting no where, though I'm sure you are all tried of hearing about that! Today, I thought I'd share with you my trip to a cave that I took with my boyfriend. He's really into them but it's been awhile since either of us visited any!

White Scar Cave is in the Yorkshire Dales next to a village called Ingleton. It was just over an hour's drive from my boyfriend's house in the Preston area. I was the driver for the day as he's not had any motorway experience yet but it was mostly countryside roads anyway which I've had nearly any experience off, whilst he - because he actually lives in the countryside, is kinda use to it. I was little scared but I did okay! Even when the SatNav took us along this single track, farmer's road and I almost ran over a dog that was sat on top of a hill on a blind bend!

We made it fine to the caves and back again though! And I got some more driving experience though, I really could do with some more countryside driving now! Sounds like some more trips to Yorkshire might be in the planning for the months ahead then. 

White Scar Cave has guided tours every hour, so you can't access the caves by yourself. I don't think you'd want to anyway, not because it's easy to get lost - it's a one track trail, but because the ceiling is really low and the sections of the cave do flood. You follow a natural fast flowing small river though the caves which was how it was first discovered. Walking above the river, you first go down then up into a really large area. You have to wear a helmet at all times due to the low and pointy ceiling. Here's my boyfriend and I modeling these nice red ones!


The tour is an hour and 20 minutes with the walk a mile and bit. There are a few different chambers to enter and lots of things to see. They had labeled some of the most interesting stalagmites and stalactites as well as other features. Here's a photo of the information map.    


The first thing we saw in the cave was this really loud waterfall! I've always liked waterfalls and this one was really cool. 

The Witch's Fingers and the Judge's Head below were pretty interesting to look at. It's weird to think there's are naturally created over time. 



This was the second free flowing waterfall further inside the caves. There was only a small spot at the side to walk passed if you didn't want to get wet! All the other waterfalls were going down the sides of the cave and not over like this one and the first one. 


This feature is called the Devil's Tongue. Water was dripping off it and there was little choice but to try and walk under without getting wet! The guide said if you did get dripped on it was seven years bad luck! We just about avoided it, I think.


After almost crawling though a really low section and going up almost 100 steps we made it the Battlefield cavern. Here there were a lot of stalactites, an ice age rockfall and a prehistoric mud floor. 



Just past that was this huge and really tall area. There were changing lights along the walls which made it so pretty. The guide said that cave explores had been in this area looking for another way into the cave as there's only one so far and it would be good to have another. It's also one of the deepest points underground too. At Christmas time, they have a Santa sitting here who gives out presents to the kids. - Sounds a really strange way to see Santa to me!


This is one of the upper tunnels which has been explored. People say they can see the outline of a woman's face on the left side of the image. The guide said she was know as The Witch. Below her at the bottom is the shape of her cat. 


We had a great time exploring White Scar caves and there was a lot to wow over. Afterwards we visited the cafe and had lunch. Then we went to the shop which was packed full of cool things. I brought some postcards, crystal animals, a piece of amethyst and an eraser for my collection. My boyfriend surprised me with a cute wooden bat keyring he'd brought whilst I wasn't looking! I'd not even seen those key rings, so it made it even more of a surprise!

If you are in the are then these caves are with the visit!


Since I've not blogged in awhile, I wanted to share two more things today. Firstly, there's been a lot of snowy weather in England recently. It does snow here, but it's been awhile since it's been this bad! I've not been enjoying it that much due to ill health. But I do love that magic feel snow can create. This is a photo of my back gardening, showing how much snow we had over one night. 


Then these are awesome icicles hanging off the kitchen window. Been an age since I last saw anything like this! They were really big too. 


And this is my dog, Patch. It's taken her sometime to get use to the snow but now she loves running and playing in it. 


Best though, she loves coming home and getting all warm and snuggled in her jumper and bed! I totally agree with her there.


I'm glad it spring has finally arrived now and I was hoping we'd seen an end to the snow. But it looks like we might get some more over Easter now! so maybe winter isn't just finished yet.

On another note, I'm currently reading the Harry Potter books again! It's been ages since I last read them. Probably, when the last book came out 2007 but then I might have read the third on again a few years later - that's always been my favorite! From my memory though, I've only read the last three books once. The other 4 I've read at least 3 or 4 times. It'll also be interesting to read them one after the other too.

Last night, I finished the first and started the second! I'm not sure if I'll do a review of them yet. Perhaps, I'll do one of the all together when I'm done.   


Thanks for much reading. Here's hoping I can get those book reviews up soon!

Please check out my other blog; https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/ I'm taking part in the A-Z Challenge next week!

(Please note; all photos belong to me. Please don't use them.)

Monday, 5 February 2018

Book Review; Mostly Void, Partially Stars; Welcome to Night Vale Episodes 1

Mostly Void, Partially Stars (Welcome to Night Vale Episodes, #1)


Hi readers and welcome to Night Vale! 

I've been a fan of the Night Vale podcast for sometime now. I've written about it before but if you don't know about it; Night Vale is a desert town which weird things happen, the normal becomes scary and nothing is ever as it seems. The stories are narrative in the form of a radio show which I think just adds to the mysterious and creepiness! 

About two years ago, I reviewed the first Night Vale novel which I totally enjoyed and have linked below. I read the second novel - It Devours! Last year and loved that too, though I must have missed out reviewing it on here. Today we are looking the third book but not an actual novel from the Night Vale creators because this is actually the first volume of the podcast scripts! 

Unlike with the novels, I strongly recommended listening to Night Vale before reading this book. There is so much more 'weight' to hearing aloud the scripts then reading them. There are events that come across so much better and stir emotions. Plus, the weather is a music piece which of course you can't listen to in the book! 

This book was really brought out of the fans. There are introduction to each podcast which gives a small insight into how that one came about and I always liking learning that kind of stuff. It's not written like a lot of scripts I've read before and I guess that's because it's mainly one character. Though there are some stage directions and other characters do come in. 

Cecil Palmer is the host of the show and I love is almost monotone voice. It's so calming and he just gives this natural feel to everything that's happening - though it's mostly unnatural and often scary! My favorite character is The Faceless Old Woman, maybe it's just because she's voiced by Mara Wilson, but I love the idea of her character - she lives in every home, is everywhere else and watching everyone and all the happenings of Night Vale all the time. She's an interesting, supernatural being.  

Reading the podcasts actually showed me how much I'd not taken in from listening to them the first time around! I think because Night Vale has now developed more, it's strange to look back at the beginning when it wasn't so whole and defied. The little side stories and characters that appear and then don't come back until something bigger happens, it was interesting for me to see the seed of those ideas. The narrative isn't a consent flow and can't really be read in a novel form way. So, it's hard to talk about the plot. There's just a lot of things going on and some of those things become more important and others get lost. 

For me, I did find reading the podcasts easier then listening to them because I have to force myself not to do anything whilst listening because I'm easily distracted by multi-tasking and then I realise that I've missed whatever has just been said. I need to make time to get back into Night Vale and catch up! I have the second volume of scripts to read next, so maybe after that I'll try and set some time aside in the evenings. I might not do a review of that book though, got some other stuff I want to write about, including; a series of manga I've been reading for the last few months, a few novels I read last year that are worth talking about and possibly reviewing the Harry Potter books which I plan to re-read all of for maybe the second or third time. I've re-read some of the book individual but not the whole set.

Overall, if you are a Night Vale fan and fancy seeing how the podcast scripts are created and/or you fancy some nostalgia of the desert town, then this is a good book to flip through. If you've not hear of Night Vale then give it ago. It's surprisingly gripping! 

Thanks for reading, until next week. Goodnight, Night Vale, Goodnight!


Links;

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29634931-mostly-void-partially-stars

http://www.welcometonightvale.com/

http://hailscrazyblog.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/book-review-welcome-to-night-vale-novel.html



Monday, 29 January 2018

January 2018 Life Update; Job Hunting Fail.


Dear readers,

Today's post is going to be brief because I'm not in a writing mood and I'm putting off switching out PCs. - My boyfriend give me his old computer and now the hard drive is full on mine, I've decided the time has come to say goodbye my computer and hello his. Hopefully, it'll all go fine!

On Friday, I had an interview of a job I really wanted - lead receptionist at a soon to be opening youth center. It's 40 minutes drive away and it was 30 hours a week. But the hours were going to be mostly evening and weekend which wasn't what I wanted but still it would have been good for me.

I thought the interview went well and my experience coming from another youth center and being able to train others to do the reception job was a bonus. There was room for improvement of course - firstly, I left my jacket at home and admitted that, when I shouldn't have done and I should've double checked I'd picked up everything before I left home! Secondly, there were some questions I should have answered in more detail and clearer, but sometimes it's hard when you feel on the spot to answer correctly and your brain goes and hides in a corner! Thirdly and this is always hard, I should have created a better impression at the beginning and end of the interview.

I know everyone judges each other all the time and first impressions account for everything but with me, I'm not good at first meetings. I've never been great socially. I love being alone and not having many friends, I guess because I've just had so many problems with friends in the past that for me I'm happy with my own company and realise that I'm better off that way. Saying all that though, I do have a habit of talking to strangers to make comments or suggestions. I think that comes from my mum though. I'm chatty to those I know and even more talkative to those I like. That's why I can pull off being a receptionist.

Appearance is also important and I know for a fact that people always get the wrong idea about me when they see me and mostly acted in a negative way. Only after you've gotten to know me do things get clearer here. And that's something you can't get across in an hour or two of meeting someone / being interviewed. I tried hard to always look good at interview - I never were jeans or trainers, low cut clothes. I wear black or red or blue skirts, with matching jackets, white or cream or blue blouses with black or blue boots. I hear some people just turn up in whatever and don't try to wear a suit! 

Anyway, I got a phone call two hours later and the overall result from my interview was that I didn't have enough experience and they'd had a few people who had more experience and did better at the interview then I did. It was a total blow to hear that because I was a few months back and partly still now, doing the job! So how come there were more experienced people? I get they were better in interview, but I just find it hard to believe that they weren't even going to reflect on things longer. Did I do that badly? They wouldn't tell me - too busy.

This is now the third job interview where I've been told someone with more experience then me has gotten the job. I'm struggling to determine how to change that. Having YEARS of experience will always win over someone who's had months or only a year, that's a fact but how can I get years if no one will give me a chance? The other issue I've got is that my high level of education, so when I apply for level 1 jobs I'm over looked because of that. Which sucks because I still need to start off some place!

I try not to be too picky about applying for jobs but due to a number of things - disabilities, health issues, my pride, I won't apply for just any old job. There's no way I can work in a call center or sales. I tried being a charity street worker and that wasn't me, I've ruled out teaching and not just because I'll have to get the right qualifications, it's not for me. I can do retail but I'd have to find a place that understands my issues and is like a quiet shop to work in. I don't want to do a lot of traveling and I'd like to stay in one place. So, admin, receptionist, office jobs etc, have been my main go to. there's lost of jobs out there like this and lots of people applying, so it's harder. But I don't know what else to do.

If I could go back to college or uni to take a course which would then get me a job, I would do. But I can't offered that. So I'm trapped in a limbo and not sure how to get out. Everyone says to keep on going, you'll find something soon or realise what you could do instead. I guess that's what I have to do but it seems pointless to be chasing around a stick with no carrot on it.

Today is one of those days where I wish things were totally different. I hope that I find something soon.