December Life update Part 2: Last post of the year!

Hi readers!

Well this is the last post of 2016 I'll be writing for this blog as next Monday is the second day of 2017! I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I did and I wanted to write a post about the changing of traditions, but to be honest I'm super tired and I've work tomorrow night. Hopefully, work will not be too bad, but you never know.

On another note, it's not snowed here. Manchester, UK has had gale force winds, heavy down pours of rain and minutes of hailstones, but so far it still doesn't feel like winter. In fact it's raining right now!

Also, unlike last time, I've no photos to post up. Not had a chance to really take any.

I have reached my book reading goal of this year though! I only had to read 30 books, but it was a starting block because I plan to raise it up ever year now. So in 2017, I'm aiming for 50 books. Though I should easily make that as I have two series to read, including one manga series that's got about 21 books in it. Of course, I won't be reviewing all of that series book by book! The second series is the True Blood one and I'll have to decided about reviewing all of those there's about 12, I think. Then I've about 10 books on my to-read list. So that's like 43 books, so finding a few more will be fine. Here's my Goodreads link; https://www.goodreads.com/user/year_in_books/2016/7400715

Christmas for me has been really good this year. Last year, I spent it away from home for the first time and for me I can't believe the difference being home for Christmas does make. I think it has to do with a number of connecting things like; being with my parents, the traditions we have, my family coming together, the food we have and just that sense of like belonging and things being right. It really makes me not want to spend another Christmas away from home, but it's nice to have a bit of a shake up and try new things.

So, what are my plans for next year then? Well, still doing this blog in the same way as well as my short story one. Though I'd like to find more people to submit stories to my blog, would be helpful to me and also grow my followers. I'd like to read more books as I just said. I'd love to get a car too and spend more time with the new man in my life. I'd like to have more days/weekends out to places and hopefully to become more stable in my new receptionist job. Lose some more weight is also on there again and maybe look at moving out. I need 2017 to be better then 2016 as this year has been rough for me and I'd like to start a new chapter now.

What are your plans for 2017? Have you set goals yet? Feel free to let me know. As for now enjoy the rest of 2016 and I'll see you in the new year!

Thanks for reading, Hayley.




Photo from; https://pixabay.com/en/new-year-s-eve-new-year-s-day-1877407/

December Life update Part 1: Christmas Is Nearly Here!

Hi readers! 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that to everyone! Christmas is now only six days away and I, like everyone else in the world, have been super busy. So, today's blog is very photo heavy, but I've so much to share. Actually, this Monday I'm pressed for time as I've to go to work later and I still have today's story to write and it's half past two all ready! Let's make a start then.

The Christmas decorations have gone up and the above is a photo of my tree. It's not great because it's stuck in a dark corner of the living room like it normally is, but there's no other space to put it. We had to move my dog's bed and she was totally not happy about that. The house looks okay, but it doesn't seem we've put up many decorations this year. Still though, it feels Christmas-y enough. 

Secondly, back in November though I've waited till now to write about it, I adopted a polar bear with the WWF. I've always said that as soon as I get a good income I'd give back to a charity and since I all ready give back to one that works with children (I work, volunteer and donate items to the youth center) I decided to pick an animal. I guess I went with the WWF because its one of the most well known ones and in return for adopting an animal you receive good things. Below is the welcome pack I got. It had stickers, bookmarks, a soft toy and books covering all kinds of things.  

My cute little polar bear doesn't have a name yet, but she's been living on my desk and keeping me company. I've been sticking with the polar bear theme now and been buying a few different things, including this huge and awesome mug from Asda! It's great for hot chocolate and the spice teas I've been drinking. It's too big to use at work though, but that's okay. I'll have to find another mug for that. 

Over the last few Decembers, I've taken to hand making presents for friends and family. It's great as it saves money, everyone gets something that is more special and it gives me something to do with my spare time. This year, I decided to makes some awesome Christmas soaps for everyone. Sadly, the photos I took have gone missing. I thought I saved them to my computer, but it doesn't look like I did and I deleted everything off my camera's memory card because it was almost full. They were very pretty and didn't take long to make. 

I used all ready made soap that you melted in a microwave and poured into moulds. I added some scent oil and food dye before I did that and then I also added glitter. I made snowflakes, snowmen, pine trees and Santa. I've all ready decided to make them again next year and try some different things with them. So, hopefully photos then! 

I also made lip scrubs which are so easy as they are just honey and brown sugar. I've been knitting scarfs too. I didn't want to spoil it for people I've given them too who might read my blog, so the below photo is of the scarf I made for myself. It's totally different from the ones I made for my friends and mum because I wanted mine chunky. It was really cheap to make as it was buy 2 get 3rd ball of wool free. It took 6 balls to make this and the balls were only £1 each, so it cost me £4 and a few hours to make this scarf.  

I also made these cute felt trees. The pattern came from a craft mag and I also made them with the kids at the youth center. They are not hard to make, but it took me awhile to get the pattern size right. I've got like two still to make, but I don't think I'll have time now. 

For about three or four years now, my mum has switched out the chocolate advent calendars we always had as kids to these present advent bags. You get a small present every day and I'm sure I've written about these before. I do think they are a good idea. I made mum one again this year. This photo is of the things I've gotten so far. I know there's two things missing; a little purple bear and another candle, but I think there's more. I got a lot of usable items this time; like socks, lip balms, snacks and the note book at the back. 

Another thing that is now happening as that my mum gives up wrapping some of my presents and just leaves them on my desk for me. On Sunday, I came down to these four coloring books, packet of Twizzlers and fragrance oil. I've given the spiced apple one ago and it's really nice, but I put too much in and I've had move my burner to the other side of the room! The house now smells like sweet apples, which isn't that bad. 

Before I move on to the main part of this post, I wanted to share this plant with everyone. It's a Christmas cacti and anyone who's been a reader of this blog for awhile knows I love cacti and have a collection of them. This has to be my second favorite because it really goes to town on flowering! Plus, it only flowers this time of year which is great when every other plant is looking bleak. I have two of these plants, as the offspring of this one ended up in my jasmine plant pot. It doesn't actually live on my bookcase like that, but in the kitchen on a vase beside the sink. The other one is on the opposite side. I had to take the photo here though because it was a lot better.  

This December life update wouldn't be complete without talking about my trip to the Manchester Christmas Markets. I go every year twice- ish; the first with friends and the second with family. This year though, I had a meet up with my old uni housemates and friends. It was great because I'd not since some people since we left uni 6 years ago! I don't know why we waited so long, because we are awesome together. I hope we can all meet again next year now. 

I always enjoy the market and it makes me feel like Christmas is nearly here. It's always a highlight, even if I don't buy anything. I took a lot of photos, but I picked only the best ones to put here; 

This fudge stall is one of my favorites. Look at all those different kinds of fudge!

This huge Santa always sits above the doorway to the town hall. 

This Christmas tree looked really cool. 

A row of stalls at the town hall square. 

Cool Father Christmas figures. 

These wicker like things are cute. 

If you buy enough of these wooden houses you could make a village scene!

Nativity wind mill.

I really like these beech trees. 

Really cool big Merry Go Round. I didn't get to go on it though. 

My new boyfriend and I with a giant polar bear statue.

That's done and now I've got three things left to share. So really quick. I know I've said this before, but the Jingle Bugs book is my favorite Christmas book. It's always meant the Christmas tree is going up and it's almost time to celebrate. 

My favorite Christmas movie is The Grinch. It's great fun, but serious and for me it just holds the true meaning of Christmas within it. I do watch it every year, mostly on Christmas Eve.  

Lastly and I know it's more Halloween then Christmas. My mum and I got this pumpkin jumper for my dog. She's been cold lately and we thought it'd help. I'm not a fan of dressing her up, but she's really taken to this jumper. We've brought a Christmas one for her, but that's being kept for Christmas day! 

I hope everyone has a great time and I'll see you all next Monday for my final post of the year! Thanks for reading! 

Book Review; Prince Lestat and The Realms Of Atlantis by Anne Rice

Hi readers, 

As promised here's my review of Anne Rice's latest book! Though I do have to confess that I've not finished it. It's a long, hefty book and since I so wanted to read it and not wait for it to come out in paperback, I've not been able to take it places with me as I'd normally do if I wanted to read a book quickly. 

So, this post is going to be a lot short then it should be! But I wasn't going to write too much about the plot anyway, as I don't want to spoil it for people. As normal I'll say to go and read my last two posts about Interview With The Vampire and The Vampire Lestat, but also the post I wrote about Prince Lestat, which is here; 

http://hailscrazyblog.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/book-review-prince-lestat-by-anne-rice.html  

I also just noticed that this post was my first book review of this year and now Lestat and Atlantis, as I like to shorten it too, is going to be my last! How weird is that? (This is because I've decided to do two life update posts on either side of Christmas). 

The first thing I noticed about this novel is that Rice has given us a very brief summary of the other Vampire Chronicle books and four pages of terminology at the front of the book. At the end of the novel are two appendixes; a list of vampires and places followed by all the Vampire Chronicle books and a blur about them. These are useful, but to me pointless for her long time readers and fans of Lestat. It's nice to be reminded of these things, but I felt it wasn't needed.

On a side note, I'd so not recommended reading this book if you've not read Prince Lestat. The characters are all mostly the same and there's a lot of them again! I'm not sure if you could get away with reading just this two books out of the whole of the Chronicles either. Rice has written a rich history of vampires over the years and all her past novels really have made it easier for her to write these new ones. The background of each vampire is also important to understand them better and their place within the plot of the novel. 

Sticking with characters; Lestat did not come across as his normal daring, bratty self. I think that having the core - the true source of vampire creation- who is called Amel, within him has altered his attitude. If anything happens to him a lot of vampires would die. I did feel caught up in his view of the story though, even after all these Rice is still able to give him a good voice. 

The other main vampires felt a little too in the background for me, beside from Louis. He comes back to help Lestat and even after everything they have been through together, the love is still there between them, which was nice to see. Claudia's name gets brought up and there's references to Interview and Lestat, which I thought was a nice tie in and good to remind reader's who've not read the books in awhile. I do like all the vampires coming together and it's nice to see them like that, but it just means there are too many characters to try to keep tabs on. 

There are some other background vampires, some of which have appeared in other books. My mind really struggled to remember though, but I'm sure die hard fans with great memories won't have a problem. 

The new characters which are the four immortals from Atlantis are interesting and I enjoyed hearing their stories. It was nice to have the history of something else for a change, because really there's not much left Rice can write about the history of vampires! I like also how the legend of Atlantis was weaved into the history of the vampires. These characters come across well and keep a good air of mystery. 

The narrative of this novel took me awhile to get into. It's written in both first person and third person, with different characters telling different points of view. Lestat is the main voice that comes, through there is a also the vampire scientist, Fareed and the vampire Roshamandes who is the antagonist. The Atlanteans; Garekyn and Derek also have chapters. This switching around narrative does work, but I think it effects the overall flow of the novel. Rice has been clever with it and I don't think many other writers would be able to pull it off as she has. I remember Prince Lestat being written in this way too. 

Actually speaking of chapters - these are too long for me. It seems to be a thing that Rice really likes to do in the style of her novels. I guess most people wouldn't find anything wrong with this and I don't mind it as I'm use to her books being like this, but I've found shorter chapters help me to read a faster and it means my brain can have more breaks. 

As I wrote in my review of Prince Lestat, Rice's writing has changed over the years. In compared to Interview and Lestat, the descriptions of people, clothes, places, rooms and objects has lost some richness. Yes, we still get lengthy descriptions of all these things, but they don't feel as deep as they did before to me. I guess a part of this is because Lestat and Atlantis is set in 2016 and as we are currently living it there's less of a need for Rice to describe things for us whilst with the first Chronicle novels there was a need because they were set in the 1800's and 1900's.  

I do like the plot of the story though and it's nice to bring something new and mysterious into the vampire world, which no vampire actually understands. It works well and I'm super interested to find out what's going to happen. So far, some of the vampires have seen images of a city, often described with glass towers being on fire and falling into the sea. This city seems to be the long lost Atlantis which even the vampires believe is a legend. However, Amel is somehow connected to all of this and four immortals are trying to find him. 

The immortals have been split up for years though, each not sure if the others are alive. The first of these, Derek is being held prisoner by Roshamandes, who is still mad at Lestat for things that happened in the last book. Roshamandes wants Derek to explain what he is to help Rosh decided what to do with him. Meanwhile, Garekyn, is on the run after tracking down the vampires at Trinity Gate and killing a vampire close to there. The vampires are hunting him down. The last two immortals are actually together; Kapetria and Welf, they have heard the news of Garekyn and are looking for him. 

My thoughts are that all the immortals and vampires will get together and everything will be cleared up. The story of Atlantis and what happened there will come through and things will be decided upon. 

Overall so far, I am enjoying reading this novel. I still think it has the problems that Prince Lestat had though, but it's great to see Anne Rice bring Lestat back to us. I can't help but wonder when she will decided to stop writing the Vampire Chronicles though, how much more can be said about these vampires? I'll be sad to see her stop, but everything must. I'd say if you were an Anne Rice fan and like the Vampire Chronicles then this is worth reading because it carries on the story in a different way and brings us new mysterious to solve.      

Thanks for reading and if you want to share your thoughts then please do. See you all next week! 

Book Review: The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice

Hi readers,

So I know it's been two weeks since I last posted. I've been ill have a bad cold which seemed more like a chest infection, but it wasn't and I'm way better now. Also, my jobs at the youth center has been keeping me busy and tiring me out!

I'm pleased to say that I'm finally writing this review! Also, I brought Prince Lestat and The Realms of Atlantis last week and finished The Beast by J .R. Ward on the same day. So there's two more books to review. I can't actually believe it's December now. This year has gone so fast and it's been tough for me, but it's ending on a high now.

Anyway, I'd so recommend reading my previous post which was about Interview With The Vampire. It's become one of my topped view posts now and I guess that's due to the new Lestat novel. As for this novel, let me just say this was my second time reading it and I do remember enjoying it. This time I round though I just couldn't get though it. Maybe, it's because I now have years of studying different books and I've read lots more vampire novels, but and I hate admitting this, I did get a bored of Lestat because it drags too much.

It's great that straight after IWTV we get to hear Lestat's story and of course he mocks Louis and says he story is incorrect. Lestat claims he had to be like he was due to his past and as we learn more and more about this infamous vampire we discover why he behaved the way he did in the first novel and how this was possibly misinterpreted by Louis. What we don't get is a re-telling of IWTV. Yes there are some scenes that get told from Lestat's point of view, but they are quickly gotten through.

Oh, I should add that there might be spoils about this novel and the history/stories of certain vampires in the series today. Normally, I try to be good about that, but I feel it'll be too difficult today as I'm getting all the thoughts out of my head. Plus, I don't want to be writing a lot because I so could go on forever about this novel, so I'm going to rein stuff in a bit.

The novel has two different time periods; the present and the past and is told in first person to us by Lestat. (In IWTV, Louis was taking to a journalist) It does follow on from where Louis left Lestat in IWTV though it is a like a few years later. Lestat has been a sleep and he is woken up by a band playing music. He then decides this is interesting enough to investigate further. Thus, Lestat becomes a rock star and what gets woven into this plot line is the story of how he become a vampire.

Lestat gives us a very detailed history of himself, starting off when he was a human and his family life in France. He is a noble man, but being the youngest son and having a lot of brothers means he gets very little money etc. He is well known for his hunting ability and one scene has him fight off a pack of wolves, which other characters bring up at different points in the novel. He wants to run off to Paris with his best friend Nick who is a violin player. This of course does happen. They both become involved in the theater which has been Least dream for a long time.

However, Lestat is then kidnapped by a vampire named Magnus, who then turned Lestat into a vampire. Magnus then kills himself and Lestat is then left to look after himself. Lestat tries hard to life a secret life and doesn't talk to any of his family or friends. He does though use a human to deal with things and send letters and gifts on to people. Lestat learns about his new powers and drinking blood. Then though, his mother becomes ill and he has to go and see her. Lestat makes her a vampire. And she turns out very different from himself, wanting to stay more in the shadows and away from humans. Whilst Lestat loved humans and wants to be close to them.

Of course, Nick also becomes a vampire, but it doesn't end well. That is another great aspect of Rice's vampires; they are all totally different and have their own unique problems to deal with, I also the endings for some vampires are violent. Remember what happened to Claudia? I do feel sorry for Nick because he just becomes so mentally insane that if Armand doesn't kill him then he'd have just exposed vampires and killed so many people too. Saying that Lestat exposes vampire kind through his songs and books!

One of the downsides of The Vampire Lestat and the reason it's so long is that it's not just Lestat's story. You also hear about Armand and Marius, who do have their own novels in which their stories are expend upon. Yes, they do fit in with Lestat and you do need to hear Marius story to then make better sense of Queen Of The Damned, which follows straight on from Lestat's story and carries on telling it in the present.

One of the things I do love and often forget about is that Lestat owns the Theatre Des Vampires and actually when you read the trail of Louis and Claudia from his point of view, that moment in IWTV makes more sense. Also of course we learn that Lestat didn't want Claudia's death but due to his state he couldn't do much to stop the theatre vampires.

I do also like the back story of the first two vampires, Akasha and Enkil which is then further looked at in the other novels. That's also the other reason why Marius's story ends up being told because we need the information he has to make better sense of vampire history. Lestat also needs this information to tie in with his story and interactions with other vampires.

I do love the detailed descriptions of places, people, clothes and furniture, it helps to make the image clearer in your mind. However, Rice does get a bit bogged down with this. I don't mind though and it's one of the reasons why I started reading her novels. And of course Lestat, he's just such an interesting character.

Even though this novel ended on a cliffhanger, I've decided not to read Queen Of The Damned. I've read it before, though I've not reviewed it here. I really wanted to read The Beast and now I'm currently reading Lestat and Atlantis. Which I shall be reviewing next week even though I won't have finished it. It's too long and detailed for me to read big chunks of. My brain needs more time to sort it out. But hopefully, I'll have read enough of it to review.

Overall, The Vampire Lestat is a good novel and it's great to hear Lestat's side of things. It's possible to read this without reading IWTV. Though, not reading that does seem pointless to me. I'd always say out of all of Anne Rice's books to read that one. It's just the start of everything really. I'm also hoping to read her werewolf series at some point and I do own the witch ones, but I've not read them. I've got far to many other books I want to read.

Thanks for reading this and I'll be back next Monday with my thoughts on Rice's latest novel.          

Book Review; Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice

Hi readers, 

So I know this post was meant to be up early last month, but I've not been very well and sadly, I'm still ill. For ages I've been thinking of writing a post about my long term health problem, but I've not got up the courage to write it. That's the problem with personal issues, sometimes you don't need the whole world to know what you're going though. Perhaps, one day I will get around to it. Though if you read last Monday's post things might be a better clearer now. 

What I had planned to do was write about the first three vampire chronicle books for October then review some writing handbooks/help books ect for November and National Novel Writing Month. But I decided not to take part this year due to illness, my new job and the overall lack of time. Plus, I just couldn't come up with an idea. So, now things have fallen as they have. Also, I've decided not to read Queen Of the Damned. I did state last time about this, so I won't repeat myself now I've just remembered that.    

Anyway, today I'm looking at one of my favorite novels. I'm totally surprised that I've not reviewed IWTV before, but I know I've brought it up and compared it to other vampire stories. I did review Prince Lestat like last year. I thought with it being autumn and the normal time to be reading creepy stories that I would re-read IWTV for like the fourth time, plus in my review of Glass Houses I stated that I really wanted to read IWTV. I thought it would be perfect to review this, Also the new Lestat novel, Prince Lestat And the Realms Of Atlantis, is out soon. So, that will also be a nice tie in. 

One of the main problems is the physical reading of these novels. I forgot how hard my dyslexic brain finds reading them and though it's not taking me long to get into them and enjoy them, it's very hard going for me, which means I'm reading slowly in small sections. Anne Rice is also a master of the English language. She has this way of writing which draws and holds you in, it's old fashioned romantic poetry. And that's something I really love. She goes into great detail about the scenes and characters too, which for some people doesn't give them a change to imagine things, but I really like the depths she goes to when she describes things. It feels like I'm there and I don't have to try hard to picture it. 

I could write a lot about Rice's writing style etc, but I won't because we'd be here awhile. Let's move on to the characters. I often think that Lestat must be like the second greatest vampire. Dracula comes first! But then in terms of famous vampires, Lestat must be second because he's just so well known and Rice has written so many books about him now. Yes, he has only two movies - one which wasn't so great, but there's a third coming out soon. I don't think the Vampire Chronicles would work as a TV series. Perhaps, though all the most recent vampire books and TV shows have slightly over shadowed him? I guess if you asked a mixed group of people to name a vampire, Edward from Twilight would be the highest outcome. And we all know how I feel about those books.....

(Lestat and Louis from the IWTV movie)

Lestat as a character is very interesting. He is unpredictable and what he wants he gets. He is a total rebel, going against the world. In IWTV he's mysterious and keeps his secrets to himself. This just makes him even more interesting, but when you read his book, it all becomes very clear. 

IWTV is Louis' story, so for now I'm going to leave Lestat till next week. I do have a soft spot of Louis, I guess because he has that human nature to him and he is a very likable character - more so then Lestat in this book, but you can understand why Rice might have done that. Louis has an interesting background and if you've only seen the movie then it hardly touches his history before he become a vampire. Louis has a whole family, which tragic things happen to leading to Louis entering a downward spiral. 

Then he meets Lestat and becomes a vampire, which causes him more problems because he can't carry on living a human life now. He has to give up everything that he's known and try to move on. But the answers he wants from Lestat he just doesn't get. He decides to leave, but Lestat decides this can't happen and so makes another vampire to bind them together. However, Claudia is a child, not yet 6 years old and being made into a vampire gives her the mind of a fully grown woman. 

I read that Claudia was inspired by the Anne Rice's daughter who died young. I find Claudia really interesting, she is the opposite of Louis and totally a vampire because she had very little time as a human. She does have a likeness to Lestat because she is a rebel, but she is manipulative. This really comes across when she is hunting and Louis descriptions her as playing with her victims and using them to get what she wants. Claudia also has a thirst for knowledge and it's actually her that ends up destroying everything.

Unable to get answers from Lestat about where vampires came from and where they can find others, Claudia plots to kill Lestat with Louis help. She does achieve this and they escape. However, Lestat's death haunts Louis and he often falls into wondering if they are the only vampires in the world. They travel around the world seeking others and finding only stories and creatures that are like the old Nosferatu vampires. 

Finally in Paris, they meet other vampires, but don't get much further in answering their questions. It also turns out that these coven vampires have strict rules, two of which Louis and Claudia have broken; killing Lestat and the turning of Claudia into a vampire so young. Armand, who is kinda leader of the group does warn Louis about this, but as they are sort of falling in love, Louis doesn't leave Paris. This only leads to total tragedy as Lestat, who survived Claudia's attack, joins in a trial to declare what happen. The vampires decided Claudia has to die. She is burnt by the sun before Louis can save her and he turn is only saved by Armand. Louis then seeks his revenge and destroys the coven.

Then Louis is officially alone for the first time in his life. For awhile he wonders the world for Lestat until they meet again. Lestat is still recovering from Claudia's attack and Louis decides not to go back to him, but to carry on alone.                 

                                                  (Claudia from the IWTV movie)

The narrative is actually as the title states, because Louis is telling his story to a young journalist. The whole interview takes place across one night and the structure of the book reflects this. The journalist does sometimes ask questions and there is a bit of a conversation between them which helps to break up Louis story. The novel has long chapters with line breaks and it feels like a continuous flow of speech. You do get a good sense that you are in the room hearing this too! 

The dialogue is fantastic and Rice has got the feel of eighteenth century/ nineteenth century speech down well. Like I said at the start, Rice has a way with this flowery romantic old fashioned language that fits in well with the timeline and characters. Even though my brain sometimes does struggle to understand some words, the more time I read it the more I understand it. To be honest I read Rice more for the images she creates and the characters then her style of writing. 

Of course, I would recommend this book to everyone. It really is a turning point in fictional vampires and gives you a new look at how and why vampires draw writers and readers in. Rice has created this whole history and world which feels very real and comes across well. At some points, I did have to wonder if this actually happened and if these vampires are out their somewhere and they just used Rice to tell and publish their stories. Though of course, it does feel weird why they wouldn't have just come forward themselves, but that's getting into the world of True Blood. I do have that series on my bookcase and maybe next year I might read them. I've seen all the seasons of it though, wasn't the last one so bad? I can't believe the books would end like that! 

Anyway, I so have to stop there because if I don't I'll just carry on writing and I want to move on and review The Vampire Lestat now. Going to get them both out of the way whilst they are fresh in my head. Then I can fully move on to something else.....Another vampire novel actually! But one that's in a totally different class. I wonder actually if someone has written some fanfic cross over of Lestat meeting the Black Dagger Brotherhood? That's be interesting to read, might look for some later..... if you know any please comment, also I'd love to hear you thoughts about Interview With The Vampire and vampire fiction in general. 

Thanks for reading and see you next week!       

November Life Update; 'We're All Mad Here."

Hi readers, 

It feels like we've not had a book review in ages! That's because my last one was in September! Part of the problem has been that it's taken me ages to read Interview With A Vampire and The Vampire Lestat. I was also meant to be reading and reviewing Queen Of The Damned, but I'm not going to because the next Black Dagger Brotherhood book is sat on my to-read-pile and I'm so picking that up next! Next Monday though will see my review of Anne Rice's vampires because today I want to write about the other reason why it's taken me so long to read two books. 

My mental health has been really bad lately and it's been due to some medication I've had to go on. Though I've briefly talked about it in the past, I've never gone into details about my long term health problem. I guess because I don't know really where to start or how to write it, but it's also because it's embarrassing and I've hardly ever tell anyone about it. I have in my drafts on here, a blog post titled about it, but I've not been able to bring myself to write it. And now, that I'm sat here writing this, which actually began as an idea a few weeks, when I had decided to try and write about it, I find once again I can't bring myself to do it! 

Anyway, I don't really need to go into details about it because this post is about the medication I'm on and how it effects me. I'm sure some people will be able to relate to this because the drugs are used for other illness too. I guess, I decided to write about because it's a good chance to reflect on things and to remind me that this is just a moment in my life which will soon pass. Plus, maybe it'll help someone else too. 

So, five weeks back I started on a course of steroids to help control my illness, which due to being messed around by my hospital -story of my life that!- had gotten out of control and I was at risk of having to go into accident and emergency to get them to sort out out. Been there, done that and don't want to do it again! I've actually had a lot of courses of steroids over the ten years I've now been diagnosed for. This dose is like my fourth or fifth this year. So, I'm use to being on them. 

Now, if you've ever been on them or other tablets that can effect you, then you'll spent time reading closely what they can do and even though I know, I always re-read the leaflets they give you. I know medication effect everyone differently and this is my personal account of how steroids effect me. 

Firstly, there's the main and biggest one which is my mental health. (And if you were wondering why I choice Alice In Wonderland quotes for this post, this will explain it.) The best way I can explain what steroids do to my brain is to compare it to someone - a child really, who has attention deficit hyperactive disorder. I' m hyper all the time, like I'm running on pure sugar. I don't feel tried and often I can't sleep. I want to do everything all at once and I talk a lot more. My attention span is short and I get bored quick and want to move on to something else. When I do get tried, I crash hard and at the minute I'm getting up to 12 hours sleep, because I'm just so exhausted but I don't feel it. 

I am also having some autistic traits. I don't want to be around people, I want to be alone and I don't really want to be touched. I'm finding it hard to understand simple things that people are telling me or asking me to do. I'm also having trouble communicating back! I know what I want to say, but it comes out wrong or else the meaning of the words isn't right. My sense of hearing also feels changed and I'm hearing stuff in the background more, though a few times what I'm hearing isn't actually there. I'm highly aware of the world around me, especially large groups of people. I'm hypersensitive to touch, so the simplest thing of someone brushing my arm, I feel it fully and a gentle tap feels hard to me. 

I have high levels of anxiety and paranoia, I over worry about things and people even though there's no need. I've had a few anxiety attacks now and they have all been caused by large crowds. My most recent happened last week whilst I was in Manchester with my date. We were on one of the most busy streets and it all got too much for me. I panicked about the number of people around me and what they were all going to do. I couldn't carry on walking and we had to stop next to the large city map. I started crying. I was so over welled by everything I couldn't do anything. 

My date handled it great. Of course, I told him at length everything I'm currently writing. There's no way I could hard this from him and I felt that was an important test of our relationship, because sadly this is a part of my life. He took me off to the side and calmed me a little. He then suggested we go to the book shop, where we had kinda been heading anyway and get off the street. I agreed and we went to Waterstones. It was quiet and I found comfort in the books. I brought two as well! I felt a lot better, though also silly. It's weird because in that moment everything just felt too real to me and I can't describe because there's no way to. But a part of me knew nothing was wrong and it was just an anxiety attack because I'd had a sensory overload. 

I think the last part of how steroids effect my mental health can best be described as having bipolar. I have been having mood swings that either are 'manic' moments or 'depression.' These mood swings come on suddenly and can be caused by everything and nothing. Normally it's stress or just too much happening at once. However, it's also caused by my hunger. This is another side effect and I feel hungry all the time no matter what and how much I eat. Sometimes I'll get cravings for certain foods and it can only by solved by eating that food and if I can't have it I start to get angry. 

For example, on another date, I wanted a jacket potato for tea. Now idea why, but that was what I needed. We past a cafe selling them, but it was only like 4pm, so we decided to come back later. However the shop was shut and I had a bit of a break down over the fact this had happened. My date had to search for the nearest place that was selling jacket potato. Luckily there was another place real close by and once I was eating, I was alot better.

Now the depression side of things normally happens when I start reducing the dose and have only a few weeks worth left, which is actually about this time. I'm on an eight week course and this is now week five. I'm use to how this form of depression is though and know the cause is the drugs and that knowledge helps a little. Still, having low/bad thoughts about myself isn't great no matter what. I hate depression because it's so hard to get out of and it feels easier to just keep falling. I have to combate it by focusing on something like arts/crafts, music and writing alot. 

I also try and talk to people, but this can be hard - even harder when I'm still suffering from the other mental issues too! People don't know how to help me. They don't know what to do or say and this can make things worse. Right now, I just keep telling people, to say to me that it's okay and it'll pass ect. Also, just to listen to me and not even give advice or anything, but just be there for me. Then I feel better, knowing that.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

The other side effects are all smaller in comparing to all of that! I already wrote about the hunger, but I then switch and don't want to eat at all. I don't feel hungry even though I am and I don't want to eat anything. So I end up snacking because I can't face big meals and though I do love fruit and veg and other health treats, I do fall back on the sugar, especially because when the hyper effect is running out and I feel so exhausted, I need the energy back. I also drink a lot and have a thirst for everything. At the minute I've also get my purple bat sippy cup full of water or juice because then it's to hand and it helps. I also put on a lot of weight, which I totally hate, but more now that I've been working hard to loss it! This time doesn't feel so bad though because I've been trying to to do more exercise, so hopefully it won't take me long to get back down again. 

The other side effect I hate is 'rounded face' or 'moon face' my cheeks get really fat and red. It looks like I've put on a lot of weight suddenly or I've had a mild reaction to something. It's noticeable and I really hate it because nothing but being off steroids for a weeks can cure it! That knowledge doesn't make me feel better right now though. 

Remember my line about having hypersensitive skin? Well, it bruises easily too. So at the minute, my legs, arms and stomach have bruise from my restless nights rolling around on my bed and also from my rushing into things during the day. I look like I've been abused, that's how bad it seems. It's not true at all though! Thank God it's winter and I'm covering up all the time at the minute, because there's no way I'd want my legs and arms to be on display at the moment. 

Insomnia is another side effect, but I've not suffered greatly from that this time around. I guess because I'm not going to bed till between 1am-3am that the insomnia doesn't have time to kick in! The nightmares on the other hand have kicked in. It doesn't help I have a very active imagination and on steroids this is heightened. My dreams have felt so real of late that when I awake, it's hard for me to realise that it was a dream or a nightmare. I've had moments were I've done the whole; I'm-awake-no-I'm -not- I'm- still- asleep, -I'm -awake now-...no,- still -asleep! repeating a few times. Then when I finally awake I'm all a panic and it takes me awhile to calm down. Alongside this, one of the rare side effects is hallucination, which isn't been that bad actually and I hope it stays that way! 

I think that covers everything. I so know this post has been long, but I feel better about it all now. I'm feeling a lot better in myself and I'm not in pain now. But I always wonder is the pros worth the cons? For me having to deal with the mental problems is always challanging, but I do over come it and the steriods do help alot and stop me going into hosptial. It's only for now anyway and I've recently started a new drug which should help too. So, soon I'll be back to normal and better then before.      

Thanks for reading and see you next week! 

Ps. If you've got the time please check out my other blog. I write a short story every day, just in case you didn't know that! https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

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Images from; 

http://quotesgram.com/mad-alice-in-wonderland-quotes/

http://www.hippoquotes.com/time-quotes-alice-in-wonderland

October Life Update Part 2: Happy Halloween!

Hi readers and happy Halloween to everyone! 

So, it's fallen on a Monday this year, which is pretty cool cause I get to share Halloween on the actual night! Also, though it does mean that I've had to get ahead writing this because I've plans and I'm just so busy right now. Which is good, but also not so good. Anyway, in to this post. So the Jack O'Lantern above is my tester one. I wanted something real simple and quick, which this tree was, but I know it's a bit messing because I had to hurry making it. 

I made this on Thursday because my brother who's just moved out wanted pumpkin pie, which he would have missed out on as he moved on Friday. I'm super going to miss him as we get on great and he's moving far away. Well, about 5-6 hours drive away to Southampton which is past London and we live in Manchester. So, he wanted pumpkin pie and then it seemed a waste to let the outside go to waste, so I used it for practice.

Also, I've been having a go at taking some better photos. So hopefully that'll be useful. So this year I've three pumpkins, which I think is like the max I've every had. I've not carved all three though. I've only every done two. The third one was craved by the new man in my life. We've still just dating at the moment, but things are progressing. This was the first time he's carved a pumpkin! It was actually great fun doing it together. 

Here's the pumpkins before carving.       

This one's mine and I decided to go with a Count Dracula face, but I didn't get it right. So it kind of looks like a weird face. 

This one is my date's. He went with a really scary face. We also switched out a candle for this light up balloon which made his even more creepy.

I think it all went well and they turned out pretty good. I just love shopping in October and all the Halloween stuff really attracts me. I've tried hard not to spend as much money as I normally do, but I think I've not been able to stick to that! The first thing I brought for Halloween was actually this baby werewolf plush soft toy. He's from Build-A-Bear and I just fell in love with him so much! He's so fluffy and I find holding him real calming. Which has been great for my anxiety problem. I could have brought this little ripped up blue denim jacket for him, but then he'd also need pants. I do kind of like him the way he is, but maybe I might make him clothes at some point - be a lot cheaper! 

I treated myself to another bear from Spiral.com this year too. Last year, I got the vampire Vlad and this year I got the grim reaper teddy. They also have a cat with bat wings which I might get next year. These two look so cute together though! Also, they match what my date and I dressed up as, which was a little strange! 

  

I always love all the different cups, mugs, goblets, jars etc that the shops sell and you can get. I don't actually have many myself as I don't use them, surprisingly! However, that changed when I got the purple plastic bat sippy cup! I totally love it and I don't think there's a day gone by since I got it about three weeks ago now that I've not used it! The bats have googly eyes on and it's actually a really big almost a pint I'd say in size. Now, the mason jars. They are huge in America and seem to be growing in popularity here in the UK. I got the white one which has like Witch's drink on it first and then brought the orange for my date to have. So we'd be kinda matching, which I thought was cute. The fourth glass was actually the first I brought and I was thinking of using it more of a tea light holder or maybe a little vase. 

I am a massive fan of candles as most of you know. But we don't get many autumn/pumpkin scented candles here. So when I see one I always end up getting it. I found this abandoned on a side shelf of Halloween masks and though I tried to find some more, I couldn't. I smells great though. I also got the new Yankee Candles scent which was called Forbidden Apple. Which smells awesome, but I do feel let down by it because apple is one of my favorite smells and I have a big Granny Smith scented Yankee candle which smells almost the same to me. I've got a caramel/candied apple too.

Okay, so this year for the trick or treaters I just got a big bag of 'monster' sweets/candy. I made goodie bags last year and ran out, so this year I'm just going with this. I've a sweet tooth but Halloween sweets just appeal to me even more. My favorites are the Chewits fangs, but I can only get them from one shop for some reason! But they are so good. 

My mum actually brought me the Twinkies - we don't have them in the UK and only certain shops - American themed sweet shops have them. But we found these in the world food aisle in a supermarket and I just knew I had to give them a try! They are brought out for the new ghost buster movie, but I guess the supermarket was like they are Halloween-y. They are key lime flavor which is like one of my favourite things, but you can't actually buy a key lime pie or anything else that flavor here. No idea why, I'd love that to change! 

Then there's a packet of witch's fingers which are peanut butter and strawberry jam centered- so tasty. And a big box of fancy chocolates. These are so good and just I could eat them all. My mum originally thought I'd give them out to the kids, but they are too good for that and too cute! 

Halloween fancy chocolates.

I've actually brought a lot of table clothes this year. I got three. Though one I'm actually using as a veil for my costume though! That was the first and it's actually the cloth I used for the table to take this photos with. The second cloth is the colorful plastic one. Even though I'm not having a party and don't need to cover a food table, I thought this would be great for actually going on the table/s outside were the pumpkins are to be displayed. The second cloth is the sliver bat one and that actually has a runner with it too. It was expensive but I love the fabric! Then I got so spider cobwebs as I really need some more that were not white or black.   

 Today, has been really crazy. Had to carve the pumpkins and decorate the house. Luckily, I'd got a few things out of the attic for that, but I think the big box of stuff is under my bed somewhere and I didn't have time to get that. Anyway, the front of the house looks pretty good. It's kinda the same how I had it last year I think. I wanted to get like some gravestones and them dotted around the front lawn bit, but I didn't have the money. I also saw some more skeleton creatures - rats, ravens, spiders, but I couldn't find any when I went back for them. It looks the part anyway.

We put up the decorations up first thing and then we carved the pumpkins. This is how the display looked this year. 

Then finally there's us in our costumes. I went as a vampire bride and he was a grim reaper.

And I just have to show you my dad's costume! This was the one he made last year, but it's still so awesome. My mum and I helped him make it.

We decided to go to a local ghost walk tonight and though we didn't see any ghosts it was fun, and I learnt a little about the town I live in. We walked though the graveyard too and I took some creepy photos.

On Saturday evening, My date and I went into Manchester for a meal to celebrate my new job! I'm now a causal receptionist at the youth center. I've been volunteering on reception for the last 8 months and then this job came up and I totally aced the interview. So we went out to celebrate that. Also, Manchester was dressed for Halloween and there were a few different events on, but I think we must have missed them. Still though, I love the paper pumpkin lanterns in the trees and the gate was pretty cool. The town hall was lit up green, but you couldn't get there because they are busy putting up Christmas stuff and yes that is a big inflated Santa in the background!

Lastly, and I know it's not really got anything to do with Halloween, but I wanted to share this awesome wool I found. It was really cheap and I'm going to knit a nice woolly scarf with it!

Thanks for reading and I hope everyone has had a fun night! See you all next week!