September Life Update 2 : My Love Life Is A Soap Opera

Hi readers,

So today I was meant to do another book review and it was going to be Interview With A Vampire but then I realized I'd have like a week to read The Vampire Lestat and Interview took me like 3 weeks, so I decided that maybe it was best to wait and then I could also do Queen of The Damn too. Plus, also they seem very fitting for October! Also, I'm meant to be going to a steampunk weekend this week and I want to write about that, so it made even more sense to wait.

This post might feel a bit random, but I thought it'd be something everyone could relate too.

As I child and teenager one of the things I really wanted to do was to grow up. Of course, there were other things I wanted, but to break away from my parents, get out of high school, do what I wanted when I wanted it ect, that was the main one. I guess most under 18's feel the same. Then though when you are over 20 or so, you wish to go back to that time because life was so much easier. You didn't have to worry so much about money, other people, were your life was truly going and love. Being a child is frustrating, but being an adult can be even more frustrating.

And currently my love life is very frustrating. In the first week of July, I wrote an update post about thing, which did center around the dating I'd been doing. The post is here; http://hailscrazyblog.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/july-life-update-part-1-what-am-i-doing.html. Briefly though I dropped guys B and C as they weren't for me and guy A dropped me- no idea what went wrong there, so I decided to stick it out with guy D, though I did have a a date or two with two other guys in the early days. One actually made a total mess of the after date conversation and totally put me off seeing him again.

I decided to come off the dating website and just enjoy my time with D. He and I do get along, even though I don't feel the same physical attraction to him as he does me. We have a lot in common and all our dates have been good. Going to Blackpool was the best one though! The thing has been that I can't make my mind up about him. I like D, but not in the whole falling in love way. He's a perfect gentleman - really does remind me of a British Victorian upper class, stiff upper lip gentleman really.

I do like that though. D's charming, caring and likes looking after me, but that only plays to one side of me. One of my other sides demands a wild rawness which he has yet to display. Though I also seek softness, passion and slowness. The child in me craves another child like soul to play with and though he's touched on that side of himself I need more. I have another side that seeks being dominated and surrendering. Yet I also have a side the begs for independence, alone-ness and space. My creative side needs D to be more expressive, adventurous and less controlling. My outgoing side needs him to be more confident, outgoing and louder, so that he becomes more in balance with my nature.

So, you can see this is a big undertaking! I don't expect anyone to be able to satisfy all sides of me and it seems I'm like a few persons rolled into one, which is sometimes how I end up feeling anyway. My ex dealt with it well though and perhaps he's slightly to blame for bring more of those sides out. I'm happy like this though, sure I can do with being less emotional, over thinking, over worrying and self-conscious, but wouldn't everyone?  

Actually, my ex is hanging over me like a ghost and so are the shadows of the past. I can't shake him. Too much I think back and compare him to D or one of the other guys I dated. I know it's wrong and I must stop. You can't compare men like they are shoes. They look and fit how they do, each one is different and individual. They all have their pros and cons too. Sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't no matter how hard you try and maybe that's for the best because one day you'll find the perfect shoes. That's a good if strange way to think about men.

I'm now going to use another example to help explain what happened between me and D this weekend. So far everything has be going well and I've been happy with the casual dating. About a month ago, I invited him for a weekend away in Leeds to take part in a steampunk fair. He agreed and we got a hotel for two nights between us. We decided to have a sort of trail run of spending the night together and also more private time. So, I went to his for Saturday night and now comes in my example.

Now, does anyone remember a '90's teenage drama series called The Tribe? Here's a memory jog;

     

I was addicted to this when I was an teen and I still am today. It has a surprisingly large following still. I'm bring it up because there was a lot of characters who had romantic encounters and relationships which were filled with teen awkwardness and lack/ break down of communication. This kids didn't understand the feelings they were going through and of course in the dystopian world they live in there are no adults to help explain things. So, they had to figure things out and also try and survive. Though they never seemed short of make up and clean clothes!

That teen awkwardness and break down of communication is so what happened at the weekend. There were things he and I both should have said and done that we didn't. It was difficult because we were not alone and I think it was harder for him because this was the first time he'd brought a girl to met his mum. The other problem was we did just want my ex and I use to do; sit on the soft and watch stuff. It was a jump back to a past I was trying to escape from and I just felt let down. On Sunday, he wasn't feeling well but didn't tell me that until we had left to go to the train station. I was mean to him and I said some things I shouldn't have said, but at the time I was angry and upset with him. Okay, I wasn't expecting to be treated like a Princess but he hardly treated me like a guest.

It was on my mind last night and has been on my mind all of today. Why and how had that happened? Who was to blame for a bad weekend? How come he'd upset me so much that I didn't want to see him again? The truth is both of us are to blame. I think me more then him though because I clearly need to be the one 'wearing the pants' in this relationship, which is something I've not done before and have little experience of. It's clearly time to learn!

In fact, whilst I've been writing this post we have been talking on Skype and it seems we have been able to draw a line under that weekend. He wants to put it behind us and fix the attention on Leeds, which promises to be a lot more fun and productive! I do agree, but as I told him, I need him to come out of his shell some more and just be more of himself. He needs to work on his low confidence and we both need to communicate better. I need to let go of the past, move on and stop being so selfish.

Maybe there's hope for us after all, but we'll see.

By the way this photo of a crab was meant to represent me when I get angry and/or upset. I'm too much like my star sign! But it also seemed fitting for what I just wrote too.

If you've got any relationship advice you'd like to share then please do and as always please check out my other blog;  https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

See you next Monday!



Images from:
https://pixabay.com/
http://www.tribeworld.com/2011/series-1-wallpapers-part-2/t1_wallpaper_lg_20/

Book Review: Blood Kiss by J .R. Ward

Hi readers, 

So, I'm finally reviewing this! I read it like in July but it's only now I've got around to writing about due to everything else that I've been writing about. I double checked the publishing date and this came out last year, but as normal I had to wait for it to become paperback and then to get around to reading it. I remember being super excited to hear that Ward, who is my second favorite author, was bringing out a new series that connected to the Brotherhood and that she'd gone back to how she had originally written those first few books, which I fell in love with.

I didn't feel disappointment, nothing has changed in her writing style or characters, but I was hoping that the story would focus more on the new characters and what seems to be the next generation of the Brotherhood. Instead though, the plot is divided into two; Paradise and Craeg's love story and Butch and Marissa murder mystery story. Both do work well together and it's typical of Ward's Brotherhood novels to be divided into two or three story plots that feel equal balanced. 

However, this means that if you've not read any of the Brotherhood books it's harder to understand. All, the characters have already been set up and everything. Though, the history between Butch and Marissa is gone over so readers can remember and understand it, I think if you haven't read their story it can be difficult to get into their relationship. I would have much preferred the Butch and Marissa story to have been in an actual Brotherhood book, but Ward has tied in the plot nicely, so it doesn't feel as jarring. 

The plot is that Paradise gets recruited into the Brotherhood's training program. Finally, she has a chance to prove she's more then just a pretty face! Of course, falling in love was never a part of the plan, but we know from one of the previous Brotherhood book when Paradise and Craeg meet that something is going to happen between them. Paradise and the other recruits have a trail to get through and of course she and Craeg pass and then like so do three other guys. Then they begin their training. Alongside this is Butch's story and he's having problems in his marriage - basically it's a communication break down brought on by a problem in the past. 

The characters are really good and do feel realistic with their true to life problems. There is a good develop for all of them too, with Butch and Marissa overcoming their problems to save their marriage and Paradise and Craeg overcome their barriers and let the love between them grow. Time is spend with some of the other characters, but not much becomes of them due to the fact there's so many and they each have their own novels. 

Overall, this novel is good and fits well into the Brotherhood series and its nice to see different and new characters. I still would have liked it if this novel had just been about them though as then it would be easier for new readers to pick up and there'd also be less focus on the Brotherhood. Hopefully, this might come through more in other books in the series. I'm looking forward to reading to reading the second one now and also the next Brotherhood book, I think it might have all ready come out but I'm still awaiting it. 

Thanks for reading.           

September's Life Update: 10 free Sewing Projects

Hi readers,

I've got a slightly different post to share with you all today. Originally, this post was about sewing projects you could do with kids during the summer holidays, but now summer is over and most of the kids have gone back to school. I still wanted to write this post though, so I thought why not aim it slightly more at Christmas? So below is a list of free sewing projects that I've done with the young people I work with at the youth center, which you can do by yourself or with family and friends as a fun weekend activity or you could make them for Christmas presents!

I used wool felt in all these projects expect the first one, which I used fabric. You could use anything you like to make these, but I find felt a lot more easy to work with -especially if children are doing the sewing. Also, I just noticed in editing this that all but one of these projects is a soft toy! But most of the patterns can easily be changed to make key ring charms or pillows or however else you want to change them. I think I just find it easy to make soft toys with the kids as they have basic sewing skills and of course, my work being a charity, we don't get a lot of money/supplies for arts and crafts.

I've included the links to all but one of the projects, so you can get the instructs and patterns. I hope you enjoy and find this post useful.

1. Hair Scrunchies

I found out how to make these from someone at work. She was teaching the Thursday craft group of 8-12 year olds how to make scrunchies and hair bands. Seeing how easier it was, I really wanted to make my own and so I give it ago a few days later and now I'm addicted. I'm always in need of scrunchies because I end up mis-placing them! So, being able to now make my own and use whatever pattern of fabric I want is really great. It's a good way to use up strips of fabric and I think they'd make nice small gifts for people with long hair.

Pattern: https://snapguide.com/guides/make-an-easy-hair-scrunchie/

YouTube Video I found useful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN-GpWWhjvk

2. Steggie

I found this little guy whilst looking for a triceratops because that's what I really wanted. I thought he looked too nice to pass up on though and so I got the pattern. I was meant to be making a big one to go with this small one, but I've not got around to it yet. Whilst the body parts are easy to do, sewing the spike plates on is a bit tricky. But he turned out well.

I've not made this with the kids yet, but I'd like too.

Pattern: http://nuno-runo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/stegosaurus.html

3. Minion

For weeks, the young people I work with on Tuesdays have been asking to make Minions. So I found a simple pattern for a small toy one and I give it ago. There are lots of bits to sew on, but you could glue them on. The kids really loved making them and made their own spin on them with one girl covering the bare 'bum' of her's with a white felt strip with penned in 'censored' Which was so funny. Since taking this photo I added in white dots over the eyes and buttons on his overalls. The H on the pocket originally stood for my name, but then I decided to name him Hogarth, which works well.

There are no instructions for the pattern because I think it's in Spanish, but it's not that hard to figure out what the shapes are and where they go.  

Pattern for Minion via Pinterest: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/8f/3c/0e/8f3c0ec0c0529146a9b04e43148b7119.jpg

Pattern for clothes: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/6d/ed/20/6ded20a2fc4c6ec40abf7e3d3cf61cd3.jpg

4. Mermaid 

This is another thing the kids had been bugging me for. It took my ages to find an easy pattern that was all in one piece - which I prefer and find it easy for the kids to do. I struggled so much that in the end I went with this one. The pattern is in Spanish- I think and so it was a little bit of a trail to work out the best way to fit the pieces together.

In the end, I went with sewing the tail, body and hair together on both the front and back then pinning them together and sewing it all up. Some of the kids choice to sew the three pieces with their matching parts together first then sew them to each of the other parts, but it was kinda tricky to do this.

Also I found the stars that are used to cover her chest not right for the kids, so we made 'bikini' style tops. Actually, mine never really got finished, I was going to give her a small skirt - to cover up my stitching and also put the flowers in her hair. To be honest, I'd like to try this one again and spend more time on it.

The pattern is here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bonifrati/5425111743/sizes/l/in/gallery-lucienerosi-72157625867910218/

5. Ladybugs / ribbon bugs

I adapted this pattern to suit my needs as you'll see. It turned out that all the ribbon I had was Christmas themed and since we made this in June, I didn't think it'd be fitting. So I cut the wings and other bits out of felt instead. These were easy to make, but the kids didn't get into them as I'd hoped. I'm happy with the way mine turned out though.

Pattern: http://www.patchworkposse.com/ribbon-bugs-stuffie-free-pattern/

6. Horse/Unicorn/Pegasus 

I made this like last year because I wanted a unicorn but couldn't find a pattern for one. So I took this simple pattern of a horse and once I had made it just cut out a horn and then I also decided to add some wings. I think it was My Little Pony inspired. For the mane and tail, I decided to use some rainbow fur I had left over and it work well, though attaching it was a bit tricky.

I've not made this with the kids yet because it took me awhile and I found the sewing of the legs hard. I think most girls would like this though, so maybe in the future we'll make them.

Pattern: http://simmy.typepad.com/echoesofadream/2007/05/thank_you_so_mu.html

7. Fish and Seahorse

This is the one I don't have the pattern for. I couldn't find it because I realized that I'd just googled patterns for sea creatures and then picked the best ones. I made like a goldfish and the seahorse like two years back and I also started another goldfish which as you can see I never got around to finishing. Sewing the whole thing with sequence was taking forever.

So make this just find some plain images of the sea creatures you want, print them, cut out the shapes from felt and them just sew them together and decorate. I also made these smaller and the kids made key ring charms out of them.

8. Panda

I was watching Kung Fu Panda the other day and decided I wanted to make a panda soft toy. I love pandas and they are one of my favorite animals. I found two very different patterns, but I went with easiest for this post. Plus, kids can make this very easily and if they are not a fan of pandas it's easy to change the colors to make whatever bear you want.

I'd love to make this one bigger and out of micro-fleece or another soft fabric, so that he could become a pillow. That'd be really awesome. I love how he turned out and do think I'll be making him some friends soon.

Pattern: http://mollychicken.blogs.com/my_weblog/2005/11/anna_panda.html

9. Fox

This little guy would make a really nice pillow/cushion. Or maybe a pin or a key charm. I found him really quick to sew up too. He's sitting on my desk with my panda right now, but I sure wish I'd made him bigger because he'd be another good soft toy for snuggling with. He's be great for fox lovers.

Pattern: http://littlewhiteschoolhouse.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/free-fox-softie-pattern.html?m=1

10. Day Of The Dead Doll

It's nearly Halloween! So, when I came across this doll I knew I had to make her. She took me awhile and I do think that glueing the bones ect on would have been easier, but I do find hand sewing relaxing. I'm really pleased with how she turned out as I struggled to get the pattern pieces the right size just due to my computer. She's not as complicated as she looks to make either, it's just the time needed.

Pattern: http://www.aestheticnest.com/2014/10/craft-day-of-dead-doll-free-pattern.html

Surprise bonus; knitted Dragons.

Lastly, does anyone remember the knitting patterns I brought in Leeds? Well, my mum has been busy making these guys! She also made the rainbow hedgehog, but I forgot to take a photo of it it. I so want to make a small hedgehog by myself at some point though and aren't the baby dragons so cute?

This all for this week, thanks for reading and please come back soon. Feel free to share you thoughts below. 

Book Review; Glass Houses by Rachel Caine

Hi readers, 

Today, I'm continuing with clearing off 'easy' books on my to read shelf and this was next on the list. I know this book came from my one of my favorite shops - The Works- cause it still had the price sticker on it, but the date I got this I don't know and it's more then possible my mum could easily have brought it for me as it's been on the bottom of my bookcase with other vampire novels for a good few years now.

I was a little bit worried that this story would be another 'Twilight'. I feel bad that I'm now judging teenage vampire fiction and sometimes other teenage supernatural novels by that marker. I think the Twilight books just annoyed me a lot, like Fifty Shades Of Grey did and now I'm too quick to say, 'oh, it's just another Twilight!' Every time I start reading that kind of novel. Also, when I took Glass Houses off my shelf I saw it had been sitting behind Interview With The Vampire and I so wanted to read that instead. It's my all time favorite book and favorite vampire novel. I resisted temptation, but my reading of Glass Houses was over shadowed by that urge, which so didn't help.

I'm please to report though that Glass Houses, isn't anything like Twilight, which makes me feel totally better about writing this review. However though, the story and the characters didn't really grab me enough to make me want to buy the next book. When I looked into it I found there was 15 books in The Morganville Vampires series and there hasn't been anymore since the last came out in 2013. Glass Houses is the first and was published in 2006. Which makes me safer to talking about some aspects of the story and characters, that people might see as spoilers. And I do try hard in all my reviews not to do that to people because I so hate it when it happens with me and then it makes me not to carry on or actually start reading a novel. So, you've been warned now.

There's so much I actually want to write about this novel, which isn't a change for me because I normally want to go into a whole essay and pick everything apart, just like every English Lit class has taught me. But I know people don't like reading long in-detailed reviews, more often then not they just want to hear if it was good or bad and worth their time reading. But I feel it can't be helped, I love vampires so much and tonight I'm in the mood for an in depth reviewing - which is shocking cause I've been struggling to write for the last month or so on all my blogs and personal projects! I guess sometimes it can take just one thing to get you back on the writing track.

So anyway, the plot of Glass Houses is that a 16 year old girl called Claire moves into a town called Morganville in Texas, USA where she attends college due to being super intelligent and her parents wanting the best for but not wanting her to grow up too fast and let her go, basically. American readers will get that more then UK readers as here 16 is like the starting age for going to college and we don't really have the very intelligent people fast tracking through the education system either. I think also the divide between 16 and 18 must be bigger in the USA. when I was a teenager I didn't feel like there was a such big gap between the ages like this novel makes out there is.

Claire is being bullied by a gang of girls due to making the leader like stupid in front of a hot boy. She over hears the girl call Monica say that World War 2 had been a Chinese thing and without really thinking about it, Claire corrects her. From that point on, Monica and her gang the Monickettes, which sounds like some pop band of the 1980's or 1990's, have been bullying her. Thus, the opening of the novel begins with Claire returning to collect her clothes washing and finding a note saying all of her clothes have gone down the rubbish chute.

Monica and the Monickettes are waiting for her as she leaves and Claire gets pushed down some stairs. Not wanting to return to the girl's only dorm, she finds an ad for a housemate and goes to visit the house. There she meets Eve - a goth, Shane - who has a tragic past and Micheal who turns out to be a ghost. She moves in with them and Eve tells her that vampires are real and they rule the town. Claire then falls prey to a young vampire and to free her Shane makes a deal of having his blood drunk instead. Claire doesn't want that though and after asking if there's anyway they can get out of, Eve tells her about this power book that the vampires have been searching for.

Of course, Claire finds the book and in the dramatic final a vampire finally gets their hands on it. Turns out this book is about how to turn people into vampires, a knowledge that vampires have lost and it was written by the vampire who gets it back. It also turns out the house they are living in use to be her's as well. The vampire agrees to grant the group protect against other vampires and their human friends so Monica can't bully Claire anymore.

Then though, Shane father's turns up and starts causes trouble after Shane phoned him to ask for his help in defeating the vampires who were attacking them for the book. His dad is like a vampire slayer after revenge. The novel ends on the cliff hanger of Michael being killed.

I found all the characters to be quite well written. I liked how they all had secrets and I can see how they'd develop into friends and couples in the other books. The bully and her gang were also interesting, but there wasn't enough time spent on their characters for me - this might happen in the other books though. As for the vampires, they were mostly in the background and we only got to see like three of them - not counting ones that briefly appear. This to me doesn't satisfy my vampire need enough. Though the actual backgrounds and lore of the vampires did, which I'm always very interested in, especially if it's a different take on how vampires came to be ect. Hopefully, there's more of that in the other books.

The narration of the book is first person and Claire tells the story, so we did only get one point of view. However, she's not your typical 16 year old girl and her high intelligence and scientific mind were a nice changed from the 'stereotypical' teenage girl that has a tendency to appear in this young adult supernatural novels. Though it did take me awhile to actually get into the story. I think the overshadow from one of the best vampire novels as well as one of the worst, didn't help, but it's also the pace, which happens a little bit too fast at the start so we didn't get to know Claire all that well before she get's pushed down the stairs.

That set aside though, I did find this novel easy and fast to read. It's written simply, but effectively and even if the age of the main characters don't give the target audience for these series the writing clearly does. I can understand why a lot of teenagers and young adults would like these books, but they are not for me and I need a lot more 'adult' to satisfy my needs now. (Anne Rice and J .R. Ward are clearly to blame here!)

Overall, I did enjoy reading this book and maybe if I was younger or had more time or had never read/seen Twilight I would look into reading more. As it stands though I'm not interested at the moment. I would recommend this book to teenagers and young adults who like this kind of thing and perhaps haven't read Twilight or are seeking some better vampires to read about.

Thanks for reading and if you've got the time check out my other blogs. Next week is going to be a Life Update post, as hopefully I'll have finally finished a post I started late July/early August about sewing projects for kids. If not, it'll be another book review, so till then.

Image from; Amazon uk and www.korsetpelangsing.biz