I quit my job today, yeah the one I had my first official day of yesterday. I'm ill at the minute and well this morning I was depending to phone in sick. But I had a lot of time to think last night and I decided that even though my first day had been bad, that clearly the job wasn't for me. No almost of time training or actually doing this job would have been able to change my personality and my beliefs. I'm naturally a shy, quiet bookworm, who sometimes comes out of her shell to discuss the world and help people. Only my close friends know there is a whole different side to me and that's my crazy, wild side which I'm scared to show the world because I know I'll be rejected. I've never ignored the realities of the world though or believed that all problems can be solved in books. I love stability, being academic, my comfit zone, my boyfriend and chocolate.
Now, finding a job that I'd be fine to do is proving to be tough. I'm young, bright, eager to learn, have great skills and knowledge, I'm creative and like working in a team just as much as working alone. I don't mind repetitive tasks, because I can daydream story ideas or else wonder about the meaning of life. I like helping people and leading them. I find I can inspire and get them to see things differently, but what I can't do is deal with people who won't/refuse to listen to me. As of yet, I'm still struggling to deal with reject and finding the will to stay positive. It can be a hard thing when all you can see is the negatives, somehow in this situation they always out weigh the positives. But, when I think about it once again I've done a lot with my life and have a lot to look forward to still. This is just...like a dropped stitch in a knitted jumper, waiting to be picked up and placed in the right line. Problem is the waiting game is getting to me and also I don't understand why employers don't want me. I know I'm being over looked and push to the side like so many other people because of two main things; My lack of experience in the work place since my only jobs have been student guide work for uni and Charity shop volunteering, so employers think I won't be up to the job or else they don't offer training. Secondly, that I've been through a lot of eduction and got great grades, which means that employers think I might get bored and don't want to be in the job for a good length of time, because I'll want more. Though that's true, I'd aim for a natural progression up the pyramid.
I've no solutions to these problems other then the downgrading one of taking my MA and BA off my CV. I've heard that this can work for people, but to me I want to be proud of my achievements as going through uni hasn't been easy. No one should have to do that to get noticed, but with twice as many people applying for the same job, sometimes doing whatever it takes can give the best results. My current plan is to seek help from the job centre, reflect on what I want to do for the next few years and where I'd like to be in the next 2-5 years, apply for as many jobs including, graduate and internships, as possible but knowing what I'd be able to do and would best suit my skills. Carry on writing and trying to get somewhere with that. I published a 3rd short story today and am just waiting for amazon kindle to release it.
So, the dice I cast out have returned to me and now I'm busy waiting to throw them out again. Hopefully, I'll have more luck next time.
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