Flashback To February Life Update; Snow and Valentine's Day!

Hi readers,

I started writing this blog post before I got really sick, so I'm not doing any editing and posting as I wrote it back in early February.

I want to say I'm glad January is over but winter is still here! It does snow in the Manchester, England area where I live but as I am in-between areas of higher grounds those towns normally get it first and I don't get to see that much snow.

These last few weeks, there has been two separate bouts of snowfall during day and night time. The first of these, the snow fell then soon melted, the second time the snow got iced over during the night and there small piles for two or three days. The rest of the week is looking clear, so I'm not sure if we'll get anymore now.

I'm sort of torn over my feels about snow; I love the way it makes everything look but I hate the issues it causes. Now I drive a car - almost my 3rd year now- I find that snow, ice and freezing fog are high on the danger list for weather conditions to drive in. I've been lucky so far that I've been okay driving in those and all kinds of other weather. It's something you get use to and more experience with. I am also getting to know when not to risk driving as of it the snow hasn't been that deep or icy but it's something to watch out for.

Luckily, most of the snow is staying away and it's not lasting that long when it does fall and freeze. 

I do think snow has this thing about it that makes everything more pretty and magical, I guess all those snowy Christmas imagines that have set this in my mind. The garden looks transformed into something different at the minute which is interesting to look out at. It's not so good for the animals - especially the birds, so we've been putting out extra food.

Also, my dog Patch isn't a fan of the snow. I'm not sure if because it's cold and damp/wet and reminds her of rain which she hates or if she's just not use to it. She'll play in a little dusting but anything deeper and she doesn't like even sticking her nose outside! 

To be honest though, I think she does have the right idea! I'm not a fan of the freezing cold myself and snow days are really just perfect for curling up inside on the sofa or bed with a huge book to read and supply of hot drinks and snacks.

Valentine's Day!

This Valentine's Day, my boyfriend and I didn't make any plans, partly because he was at work and I've not been feeling well these last few weeks. I just want over to his and he made us dinner which was a chicken tray bake. He's not good at cooking as I really appreciate him making the effort. It tasted really nice. We did go out to a garden centre which I really like going too and he brought me a cactus! It's so cute and looks like it's heart shaped.  

For anybody who knows me, I love cacti, I have a collection and bit of an obsession! I like each one I own to be different, so this one fits right in as I don't have one like this! And it's extra special as it was a present from my boyfriend. 

He also got me this unicorn kitty and amethyst bracelet which has a tree of life charm on it - below. I got him a t-shirt, a wall sign about Star Wars heroes, and key ring jigsaw pieces which had two fitting halves with matching sayings on. I let him pick which one he wanted and I kept the other. On my house keys now, so I don't forget. 

So, a quiet Valentine's this year but it's been just as special.    

Lastly and this doesn't connect with Valentine's as we have been planning this for awhile now, in June we are off to London to visit the Harry Potter Studio Tour! 

I'm really excited, even more so now I've seen the tickets! We meant to go from my 30th Birthday last July but we went to Cornwall instead. This year we are going for our 3rd anniversary and it's going to be so good! We have planned other things to do in London as well as it's going to be a full half a week of exploring places.    

You can bet I'll be writing all about that in June. For now though, here's to the end of winter and the being of Spring. See you next time.  

(All photos belong to me)

   

July Life Update Part 1: What am I doing right now?

Hi readers,

I'm writing this early too to try and get a head as I'm so busy right now. Originally, the sewing project post was meant to be up first, but then I realized this follows on well from last week's post when I wasn't able to write about two things on there. So, I'm moving that post to August now. Which means the three Mondays for the rest of this month will now be the book reviews of the Soulless Manga trilogy and the first two books in the Custard Protocol series. Though as I've just checked, the second book isn't out till the Thursday 21st July and that's 5 days to read it in. Just pre-order it so it'll come just before or on that day now. Should have got it with my birthday presents, oh well.

The first thing I want to write about today is the question of if  I'm a 'serial dater' or not. Now, my only slight risk of writing and publishing this is that there are certain people I'd rather not see this post. But I do want to reflect on recent things and prove that I'm not really a serial dater. So, as most of you know I broke up with my boyfriend back in January. Since then we've still stayed friends and though this has been hard it's working...beside from not being able to break some of the old habits....

Around April, I decided I had to move on and prove to myself that I was still date-able and not stuck on the highest shelf like a broken doll. I joined two dating websites, both of which I had used before though, this time I was going to juggle being on both of them at the same time. My inboxes every since then have been stacked high with messages from men. Unlike the last times though, I tried to be more picky in which men I message back.

Internet dating is hard. Everyone seems to think it's easy, but to be honest it's a lot easier to lie and just say what you want, because you feel more protected by the screen and being home then say if you met some at a bar or public event. So, I get a lot of messages with men just saying "I have great ect 'place body part here.'" or do "I want to have a one night stand ect ?" I don't reply to those messages. Also, its rare I reply to people not in the same country as me, just long distance dating isn't my thing and I have enough friends right now. Okay, maybe I could do with a few more...but I like meeting up and doing stuff, not just talk online.

I have a lot of rules and stuff in place for my safety as I am so aware of the problems online dating can led too. One of my rules is that I try to spend awhile talking to the guy to get to know him. Another is that the first date is actually called the first meet up and we meet as friends. That's how it's been for all my 'dates' and I have stated this every time, we are meeting as friends. Because it's less pressure off everything really and I'm not in a hurry to get back into a relationship. Not because I'm holding a candle for my ex, but because I've suddenly discovered the freedom of being single. Though sometimes I don't like it, I'm enjoying it for the most part. My long term goal is of course to find someone, but right now I'm happy building friendships. They say that's how the best relationships start anyway.

So, Over the last two months or so I've meet up with four guys now from the two dating sites. To code them, I'm going to give them letters of the alphabet and try not to go into too much detail about them personally (just to protect them and myself, because I'm nice like that).

The first guy, A, I have meet 3 times now. I really like him and we get on, there's this flitting between us which I enjoy too. He's very funny and sarcastic, which I like. He makes me laugh a lot and he finds my stories and jokes funny. Also, all the meet ups we've turn into mini adventures as we end up wandering around looking for places! The downside for me is that he does live far away from me, but he sees the city I live in as his true home and he does want to move here one day. I am hoping things will develop with him, but I'm not sure if it'll last, we don't seem to have that much in common as of yet anyway.

B lives a lot closer and we had an okay first date, even if I ended up taking the led on it. Which I don't mind, but he was lacking in confidence for me. Plus physically, I didn't feel attracted to him. He was really sweet, but I think he was too nice and was happy doing whatever I wanted. Which I didn't trouble me, but some input would have been good. We've stayed in connect and I said we could be friends, which I know he's not too happy about. We have yet to arrange a second meet up.

C and I have met twice now. He seems nice, but like B he is lacking in confidence and also he's shorter then me and I just can't deal with that. There's just something about tall men I like and it doesn't help that I'm tall myself! The first time we met, I had to buy my own drink. which I don't mind - it's not a date! but I think it jarred with me that he didn't even ask me about it or anything....unlike the other two guys. We had a good talk and we did have a bit of a walk too - which is how I noticed the height difference!

We went bowling and for lunch as our second meet up and he talked a lot about this girl he liked. I was actually in one of my low moods and the conversation wasn't that interesting. Bowling was fun though and lunch was okay. I fear that he'll go the same way B went though as he's not for me, but a friendship might work.

D does live a bit away from me and we have met twice now. The first time, I broke my rule of not eating on the first met up. I'm not a shy eater, but I can be a bit messy and I'd rather just get something like a drink which can easily be handled. And I was messy! We had a talk about a number of things and I do feel once again that I was far more confident then him. Though for some reason I was really on edge and so chatty. He was taller then me though and paid for lunch - super nice of him because he didn't have to. But then he give me super mixed signals because he decided to leave.

I don't normally set an end time unless I have to, but that meet up only lasted about an hour and 40 minutes. Which isn't that short but compared to the the four- six hours I'm use to it kinda is. I so thought I'd come on too strong and he'd not liked me. I had all this paranoia about it until he texted me and asked me if I wanted to meet again...turns out he was just super worried about missing his train home though they seemed to be every hour. I agreed and decided to give it another go.

The second meet up went a lot better and actually changed some of my first judgement about him. I think it helped that we went and did something this time. We went to an art gallery and had fun looking at the paintings. He made some jokes and we talked a lot about art and relationships. We went for tea and it was my pick this time, I choice a new place I'd not been to before, but the food was good. We split the bill this time and we hugged like three times before he left.

I'd like to see him again and not just because he said he wanted to go to the zoo for our next meet up! But because I think his confidence will grow and we have lot in common.

So, am I serial dater? I don't believe so. For starts, I'm not actually 'dating' them and they and me know where we stand and I make it repeated clear that's the case. Also, this the first time I've seen a number of men at once. Normally, I stick with one guy and if the first meet up doesn't work then I move on to the next. Actually, I only started dating in my early twenties. As a teenager, I wasn't that interested in boys and it's only been over the last six or seven years that I have changed my mind and become interested in finding someone to spend the rest of my life with.

I looked up what the actual differentiation of a serial dater and there's lots of interesting information out there, but I came to understand that it's a person who has a few dates with someone then moves on to someone else and the pattern repeats. They do this because they like the first stage of dating and don't want to commit to anything. Also they don't want to spend time getting to know people, they enjoy having money spent on them and date people who have nothing in common with them. I don't really tick any of those boxes.

Of course, I know there's going to come a time when either I decide to start a relationship with one of these guys or another I've yet to meet. I currently have two guys I really want to meet up with as well. Then I know I'll have to sort things out because I'm so not a cheat. At the minute I'm having a bit of trouble juggling the four guys I'm making friends with, so I can't imagine managing two different relationships! To be honest, I'm just having fun meeting and getting to new people, which is something I don't do really do.

And before I forget here's a link to a tumblr I llike and some of the posts on here just sum up internet dating messages for me really well; http://really-not-ok-cupid.tumblr.com/ If you need a giggle it's a good thing to check out, also it reminds me why being single can be a good thing!

On the flip side of this, for the past six weeks I have been giving up my Sunday mornings to be a part of the group mentoring at the youth center. It's the first run of this and it's to help 8-12 children who can't do 1-1 mentoring because their problems are not big enough or do to their additional needs they are unstable. But, if once we finish in another seven weeks, the young people still need support they'll go into the 1-1. I thought this would be a good way to start my mentoring as I've not been matched up to a young person yet.

I am finding it tough. It's hard to do anything for the first time even with training and support. I think it's going to take awhile for me to get into it as even after all this time I'm just not getting to grips with it. I'm not going to say mentoring isn't for me, I just think I need more practice at it as with everything. Maybe I need to do some more reading around the subject and look at how I can improve myself.

So the group mentoring sees three mentors, a supervisor, a supporter and eight young people meeting to do a range of activities which I divided into doing an activity often based around teamwork and looking at emotions/feels, lunch and small group time which sees the mentors working with the same 3 or 2 young people in a more focused activity. Now, my two kids are brother and sister and they have a bit of a rough home life, not in any abusive and neglecting ways, just that their mother has a lot on her plate it seems.

Last Sunday was also the second time they'd not turned up and it was the four time all together. It bugs me because I'm giving up my free time to help these kids to reach the reasons they are on mentoring and their mum doesn't seem so bothered to bring them. I'm so hoping this is going to change and that I can now spend the next few weeks actually helping this kids out. I keep telling myself that even if I'm just there for them and they can talk to me and I can teach them one coping technique they remember when they are having a bad time, then I'll feel like I achieved something. It'd be goo if I can do more, but as a mentor there's only so much you can do anyway.

Even though I love my part time job, I'm currently looking for another. I'd love to find some morning work in an office somewhere, so that I could still keep my shifts at the youth center. It wasn't my plan to really stay so long and I wanted a full time job, but I've not had much look and I guess I've become to comfy where I am. But I want to move out and get a car and the only way to really do that is to save up and I need more money to do that. So, I'm on the look out again and hopefully, I'll find something soon enough.

The issue is that job hunting doesn't get any easier really. I find it takes up so much time and it's tiring. Being on sites like Linked In and signing up to temp and agencies does make it easier, but it's putting in all the leg work and the fact I don't get many replies triggers my depression. A few weeks back I had a phone call and I was headhunted for this job as a research at a recruitment center. But the interview was cancelled the evening before because the guy said on reflection I didn't sound confident enough and that totally didn't make any sense to me. Also he wanted to hand in my notice that day before I had the interview so he could hire me the next day! That's just weird too.

In some other news, I have finally got a goal date set for my short story collection anthology release. It's going to be on Monday 1st August. This is going to be published on amazon kindle for £1. Which seems really cheap to me! It's going to be a collection of around 30 short stories from the first year of my other blog The Story Files over on Wordpress. I've been saying for ages that I'm going to do it and now I really mean it. I'll post on here when it's ready.

I so want to look at getting money from my blogs. I know its' difficult to do and most people say it's like a full time job. I've never really wanted to actually get money out of this because it me it's always been my space to just out pour, but it'd be great to get some else in return for writing now. Speaking of that and blogs.....

I had a great idea for a new blog and I plan to start that up next week. My plan is to post on that blog on Fridays and it's going to be about fighting negativity and how to stay positive. This blog is different from my current two and others I've done in the past because it's going to focus on advising people. I had this idea after having a talk with my dad then seeing some self-help books work. Originally, I was just going to make a life post about it but when I started planning it out there was so much I wanted to write about that I thought I could just turn this into a new blog.

I have set a word limit of 500 words per-post because that's about the right word count to draw people in and to read it fully. I try hard to keep the word count down on here, but like I said with this being a space to out pour it can be hard to keep things short!

So, I'll let you know about that when I've sorted it all out.

Update! I've set it up and done the first post! You can check it out here; https://negativitybreakout.wordpress.com/

Lastly, I wanted to write about my future plans. Right now, I'm on a short break in Leeds with my mum. On Saturday it was actually my birthday and this trip to Leeds is apart of that. I might write about that at some point. So, I've got some books lined up for reviewing, more short stories to write, two novellas to finish and I want to get the other two short story collections for the second and third year of my blog sorted and published. I think I'll carry on with what I've been currently doing on this blog, because it seems okay, but I'm hoping my new blog takes off.

Thanks for reading and please stay posted for some updates on all of this stuff soon!


My other blog: https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/


Images from https://pixabay.com

Life Update #2

Hi readers,

My review of Dust will be up in the next few days, I just need to finish the last novella. Until then, I thought I'd post another life update. This is because I've started a new blog. Well, its been up for three weeks or so now, but its' still early days. I decided that I would like a clean space to post up some of the short stories I've written and others that I want to write. Also I decided to challenge myself and to write/post a story a day. I'd love it if my followers and anyone else who readers my blog would check out it. Here's the address: http://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

I'll still be writing this one as I only post a few times a month and I do enjoy reviewing books and looked at writing techniques. I just thought having two separate blogs would be easier and also I seem to have more interest on Wordpress then I've ever had using blogger.com. I'm not sure why this is and I don't really have a preference. At least nothing will change on this blog anyway. My new blog so far has a whole range of different themes and genres on it. Also the word count for each story varies a lot. I also have many different ideas of how I want to display my stories too. So, every story is unique!

My second piece of news is that a job I was guaranteed to get as a receptionist and customer service helper,  last week, I didn't get. It went to someone higher up to decided over me and someone else and they give her the job because she had more experience. I've been really upset and frustrated since Monday. I understand there wasn't a lot I could do, but I was looking forward to starting the next chapter of my life and moving on. I've got another interview for a different job tomorrow and though I'm not as guaranteed to get this one as much, I plan to give it my best shot. Tomorrow, I'll also get to see another area of Manchester and I love exploring my city. I'm still hopeful that something is out there for me and I'll find my path soon enough. Though it feels like I've been waiting an age already.

One of my plans this month is get the first chapters of my novel sorted and send it off to a few agents and publishers. It's something people have been bugging me to do for awhile, but I've not felt ready and nor has the novel. The problem is I'm not sure if the right time will ever come if I don't start acting upon it. So, I'm planing this weekend to start editing and getting it in preparation to be sent it. It can be a long process this and doing the research to find places to send it can take up so much time. I've all the tools and knowledge I need to do this though and I'm sure once I make the first step it'll be easier. As everything turns out to be.

Next, I need to start revising again for my theory driving test. I'm taking it the first week of October. I'm sure most of the stuff has stuck with me, I just need to get into practice with it again and remind my mind about some of the stuff. I want to pass first time because then I can try and do the practical and get a car soon after- around Christmas time, if I can sort out the insurance etc. That's my rest of year plan at the minute.

Lastly, I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition at my local gaming shop. I played my 3rd game last night and I'm enjoying it. I've finding it slightly difficult to get the rules in my head as things aren't the same as 4th edition and I've become far too use to have that works. I'm also liking meeting the flurry of new people that have been turning up to play. This is because for the last few months Encounters has just been one table and 5-7 people and I got to know them really well. I actually preferred that, but mostly because I've social and trust issues and it can take me while to get to know people and feel okay to show my true nature, which also seems to be the opposite of my shy front! However, I'm growing use to more people and have started to make friends with some of them.

I think even though I'm a bit bad at playing and remembering things, I still like going to DD for the social aspect of it. Geeks, Nerds and Role Players/ Gamers are some of the nicest people. Granted they do take while to use to new people, but after that they have habit of become your friend for life. Also doing RP gets you a chance to explore different sides of yourself and others. I think for a writer this can be very useful and also the stories that come out from being around a table too! I'm looking forward to every Wednesday evening now.

So, once again I'm really busy and have so many plans! Like I said at the start, Dust review will be up soon and so until then please check out my new blog. Thanks.