May Update Part 2 : Why are people so mean to each other?

Hi readers,

I'm slotting in another update post this month as something has been on my mind and I wanted to share it with you all.

Last week, I was walking quickly down the street to work and as I passed a queue of cars waiting at the traffic lights, a male passenger in one of the cars lend out of a window and shouted at me 'how you doing, Fatty?'

My feet slowed, I stared at him, my expression become a mixture of shock, upset and anger. I ran through everything I could respond to that in my head. I was on the edge of telling him to 'F off,' but then I walked past. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him laughing with his mates then the car drove off.

What he said stayed with me but I had to put it out of my mind to concentrate on working. Reception was tough that night as I'd had to switch my day shift to a night shift as the other receptionist had phoned in sick. It was a junior session too and they are always so much hard work! I got through it but those words still stuck with me.

I keep thinking of all the things I should have said and how I could've turned that conversion around. I could have shocked him by answering calmly back, by making a joke of it, laughing at him. You know? All those things you think about afterwards. Of course, if I'd gone the other way and turned aggressive towards him, he might have said more hurtful things. Maybe, even taking it further. So, maybe it was a good job I walked away.

There's no way I'm letting that get to me. I've been called worse things. Strangers judge you in a few seconds and act upon what they see. So, there's no way that man could've know that for the last 10 years I've been battling a long term health condition that some days affects me so badly that I can't leave my house. It's the main reason why I struggle to control my weight. Luckily, my new drug is controlling things enough that I've now started losing weight again and I do want to keep trying.

In contrasted to this, at work I don't let anyone disrespect me. If a young person is rude to me or says something I don't like, I address it fast. I follow the guide I got in my training and stick by the rules. The youth centre is like school in that respect, we don't take any misbehaving from anyone and we try to teach the young people why it's wrong and they can become more respectful.

I have a new motto; like water of a duck's back. To try help shrug it off. But it seems to have lingered still and it got me thinking, why is it easier to be bad then to being good?

I thought I'd look into it. I remember at some point hearing it was easier to be bad because it takes up less energy and thinking time whilst if you are good then it uses up more energy and more thinking. It's the same with smiling and frowning; you use more face muscles to smile and a lot less for frowning. 

In religion, it comes across as being easy to sin. Think of Eve eating the forbidden fruit, tempting Adam to try it too and God banishing them both out of Eden. It's harder to stay good and follow the book and church even though religious people know that's what they should be doing. However, getting rid of sins/badness comes across as being simple; pray for forgiveness. 

Having a negative mind goes along aside this. It's easy to be unmotivated and lazy. It takes a lot to do activities, even if they are hobbies we like. Staying positive can be really hard to do - I for one know that really well! Remember the last life update post? There are much more benefits to staying positive though, like achieving in life, love and career. 

There's so many scientific and religious theories/information out there too. So, far I've not found truth to my first thought; energy usage. I've concluded it would take too much time for this post if I did try to find it! What I can say though is that it is easier to be bad then good for many different reasons. Some people say it's because it feels better emotionally and mentally to be bad then it does to be good, even though it seems we get the same 'high' when we are nice and helpful to people. 

Getting back to what I opened this post with, to round things off and make it a positive ending, on a total opposite spin to being insulted, later that night my wonderful boyfriend texted me and told me I was beautiful. He really likes my body and understands all my issues which helps a lot. He often calls me beautiful, sexy and hot with a lot of meaning. It's a total boost to my confidence and reminds me that there are people out there who do find me attractive.   

So, in conclusion for this post just remember that no matter what 

Thanks for reading!


Research links:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-good-and-evil/201405/why-is-it-easier-organize-evil-good

http://thoughtfulreading.com/psychology/good-people-vs-bad-people/

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/four-ways-topple-negativity-bias-0114137/

Urban Exploring

(Hotel del Salto, Bogotá, Colombia)

Hi readers,

I thought today I'd write about a new hobby of mine. I'm not sure why or how I've got into it, but I do understand some of the appeal of it. Hopefully some of you might find this interesting and/or inspiring. So let me tell you about Urban Exploring.

Some of you might know or be some what aware of the term already. For those of you that don't know, Urban Exploring or UE is the exploration of man-made buildings or structures that have been abandoned. These places are interesting because you can learn a lot about decay and nature. As well as the history of the place, the people that were involved and/or lived there and how something works. Mainly photographers and researches class it as their hobby. However, other people like artists, writers, ghost hunters may find these places fascinating and/or useful.

Of course to get access to some of these places means trespassing and running the risk of getting caught. There are also other dangers like falling materials and unsafe flooring, to be aware of. From doing some research into the habits of Urban Explorers, I have learnt that most of the time the explorer will try and find an easy access point, such as an open doorway or broken fence. They will also leave the place as undisturbed as possible, only taking photographs and jotting down useful notes to either accompany these images or to do further research later. This is the difference between UE and mindless vandalism.

I guess I am what would be called an 'armchair urban explorer.' This is because I don't go out and explore these places myself as I use the Internet to look at other peoples explorations and research. This isn't because there are no abandoned places near were I live, its just that I feel that I don't need to experience these places myself- though I've wondered what it would be like! I do like taking photos, but I'm far from being a professional and I enjoy doing research, but I'm no historian, I just like looking at the fascinating images that people have manged to capture and learning something about the places they visited.

As I said at the start I'm not sure what first got me into UE, but I do know that the above photo- Hotel del Salto- was one of the images that drew me in. I remember reading the buzzfeed artical  

The 33 Most Beautiful Abandoned Places In The World (linked at the end) and I believe that's when my arm chair urban exploring begin. Since then it seems I've become hooked and eager to look at more places. 

(Abandoned type writer, unknown)

The main reason why I've gotten into this hobby is because it appeals to the writer inside of me. All of these abandoned places have their own stories to tell about the lives of the people that lived/came there and how they came to be 'forgotten'. Some even seem to be the perfect setting for horror/thriller stories and others are a perfect fit for dystopian/ science fiction stories. I feel the urge to use these places or else to create fictional (with some factual) stories about them. 

For some reason though, I've been having trouble writing and capturing the ideas and images I've had. It seems that as of yet my mind can't find a place for these abandoned places to fit in. I guess that's why I keep returning to look at my favorite photos and to discover more. My imagination is sparked by the images and though I might feel like writing, I seem unable to place what I see into words. I'm hopefully that one day I shall be able to write something though as there are a lot of stories here. 

I've always been a very visual person and this reflects in my writing. I like to go into a lot of detail describing things. Also, I've find that photographs and drawings/printings inspire me. This is because I can see the image and can use it as a starting point for describing. Or else I can take the image and use that to create a story. I guess using the above image of the abandoned type writer would be a good example. For me it rises so many questions; In what kind of building is this? Why was it abandoned? Who owned the type writer and where did they go to? What was the last thing it wrote? What's going to happen to it now?

It's the answering of these questions that leads me into writing. In real life, I might not be able to find the answers, but in the world of fiction I can do and that allows me to give my interpretation of the photograph. It also opens the door to me writing my thoughts, feelings and reflections through my characters. This is a really good way to actually start writing and it can led many places. I'm sure its been used as a writing exercise in many creative writing sessions. I just about remember a poetry session where we had to look at images from the Berlin Wall and describe it in a poem.

I probably could go into a lot more detail about how and why UE gets my creative mind going and its usefulness in writing, but I'm going to move on and look at other aspects. 

(Nara Dreamland, Japan)

Following on from the start of my interested in UE, I became fixated on abandoned theme parks. I'm really not sure why these of all the kinds of abandoned places attracted my attention so much, but they just did. I think that one thing that really gets me is that the rides and mainly the roller coasters have just been left and nature has been allowed to claim them back. Though I know that this is seen inside buildings too, I think that theme parks being outside just get taken over much better. 

There are many abandoned theme parks across the world, but there is one that draw me in more then the others and that's Nara Dreamland. It's really popular with explorers and has a detailed history. For me, it has some of the best photographs too. There is just something about nature taking over wooden and metal roller coasters and creating interesting images. When I see these photographs I see the beauty in the scenery and can imagine how quiet the place has become.

I think that's one of the reason why people do urban exploring. They can see the beauty in these places, that other people can't see. They also like to re-live the memories of the place and experience the calm and quiet that has none taken over. I guess these places are sort of like pockets on the world where people no longer go and Mother Nature can show what the world was once like before we came. Of course the other way to look at it is; what the world will be like if there became no humans. Though, I've never liked to think of it as that. 

Back to the theme parks, There are a few more famous abandoned ones and also water parks. Wikipedia has a long list of them! So, as well as Nara I've also been drawn too; Six Flags New Orleans, Speepark Berlin, Sports World Japan, Gulliver’s Kingdom Japan, Takakanonuma Greenland Japan, and Chippewa Park Thunder Bay Ontario. Each of these places has their own story to tell and as well as the images, I'm drawn to these stories. 

I think it would be interesting to actually walk through one of these places and experience for myself what its actually like there. They must be so different now without all the people wondering around and enjoying the rides. The voices and screams must seem like a distant memory, as well as the mingling of smells. These once over-crowd, loud, happy places have now fallen silent of humans forever.   

(Pripyat City, Ukraine)

One of the most famous abandoned places, that most people are aware of is Pripyat. This whole city was abandoned when a nuclear accident happened at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in April 1986. Due to everyone having to leave suddenly a lot of personal things still remain and in most places it looks like the people could return any minute to continue with there lives. However, other photos show that the city is now laying in ruins and is still uninhabitable. The most iconic images of Pripyat are those of the abandoned fun fair/theme park, which was due to open in May.   

Pripyat isn't the only abandoned city/town though. There are others like Hashima Island and Tomioka Fukushima in Japan, Kolmonskop, Namibia in Africa,Varosha, in northern Cyprus, Pyramiden in Russia and Detroit, Bodie, Seattle Underground,  in the USA. All these places have been abandoned for one reason or another and the haunting images they now create really do have that World's End feel to them. 

I guess it most be pretty surreal and eerie to wonder around such cities and towns. I also think that's its such a shame and a big loss though. Granted some places can never be reclaimed back, but those that could would allow homeless people and those that needed it to start a new life. I think this thought about some of the wonderful houses/manors/castles/hotels that have also been abandoned. The images of them decaying away might be interesting, but to see these buildings back to their form selves would be- for me any- a lot more fascinating.   

(Lee Plaza Hotel, Detroit, USA.)

Another city I've become interested in studying is Detroit in the American State of Michigan. This image from the hotel was amongst the first that caught my attention. I was fascinated by the piano and left in wonder as to why it had been abandoned. I then found out that this seemed to be a thing with most old and large buildings and that lots of pianos had been left to rot. I guess its because they are too heavy and big to move, so they just get left behind. Though I have to admit that pianos do add to the atmosphere, its still a shame that they've been left. 

I should point out that Detroit isn't fully abandoned, more that its a city in decline. There are large areas of abandon buildings mixed in with small pockets of inhabited areas. However, it seems that most of the abandoned public buildings and houses have almost been completely taken over by the decay and nature. This does make for some interesting images and you do really get the sense of an abandoned city. 

There is actually a group of abandoned places that creep me out and these are the hospitals, asylums, orphanages and other such buildings. (Beside from libraries and schools, I'm okay with them.) I think its due to knowing what want on and possible what happened in such places. I think just seeing equipment left laying around and the records of people, just makes my skin crawl. However, I still have some interested in these places and you do have to wondered what secrets they are hiding.   

(Paris apartment time capsule)

One thing I really enjoy about these abandoned buildings is finding places like the above. These time capsule abandoned homes have remind untouched for years with personal effects being left to lay. Most of the time they don't even show that much decay. Once again for me, the interested lays in the questions, answers and stories that come out of these images. I was keen to find out about this apartment when I first saw the photo of the dresser. 

There is actually a lot of information about the apartment out there and its' history. The woman who lived here left just before the outbreak of the Second World War and went to live somewhere safer. She took only what she needed and then just left everything else. For some reason she never returned and no one knew about the apartment until 70 years later when she died. Her relatives going though her things found out about the apartment and went to investigate. Thus they found a time capsule of pre-WWII items, including some rare and expensive paintings.  

(The Royal House, Japan)

Lastly, I want to share with you one of my favorite abandoned time capsule places. This house in Japan is known as the Royal House and they have tried to keep the location quiet so that its' not vandalized. Though I've recently read that this has now happened and the house has fallen into more decay. I was drawn to this place because of the photos of abandoned treasures and personal items, but then I discovered that people had actually done research into the house and the family that it belonged to. 

The house and family have a really interesting history and it was nice to see it being brought back to live. I was sad to learn that the house had been abandoned because all the family members had died and there'd been no one to take on the place. It has become something of a shrine or memorial to the family, I guess. I would so recommended that you read about this house and I've linked the website below. 

Thanks for reading this post, I know its been a long one, but hopefully you can understand why it had to be. I hope also that my passion for these abandoned places has come across and that I've got more people interested in Urban Exploring -even if its only from your chair!

                                                   (The Royal House, Japan)

Images from;

http://underthemountainbunker.com/2012/08/11/abandoned-places-saturday-the-hotel-del-salto-tequendama-falls-columbia-river/
http://bizarrebeyondbelief.com/2012/10/29/andre-govia-photographs-of-abandoned-spaces/
http://iplacesblog.com/2013/06/01/nara-dreamland-japan/
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-33-most-beautiful-abandoned-places-in-the-world
http://www.roughguides.com/gallery/abandoned-places/#/2
http://homes.yahoo.com/news/art-filled-paris-flat-left-untouched-since-world-201500692.html
http://www.haikyo.org/abandoned/houses/the-royal-house/
http://gakuran.com/the-royal-house-haikyo/


My Pinterest board;

http://pinterest.com/hails9/abandon-places-urban-exploring/

Interesting Websites;

http://www.abandoned-places.com/
http://www.forbidden-places.net/explo1.php#.Uhn-9ZLVAlN
http://www.messynessychic.com/
http://weburbanist.com/category/architecture/abandonments/
http://www.haikyo.org/
http://www.abandonedplaygrounds.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abandoned_theme_parks
http://www.urbanghostsmedia.com