Book Review; Minecraft, The Island by Max Brooks

Hi readers, 

For those of you who don't know I'm a massive Minecraft fan. So, when I saw that a fiction novel set in the Minecraft world was coming out, I knew I had to read it! It was expecting a fantasy style story but instead The Island is half an introduction/guide on playing the game and half a person's experience of playing the game for the first time. I'm feeling torn about liking it and disappointed that it wasn't what I was hoping for. 

The book is aimed at children and written in a simple way which could mean that older teens and adults might lose interest. I liked the easy style though because the previous book I read was long and heavy (that review coming soon!) There wasn't much of a plot though, it basically was; man wakes up on Island, has to survive, learns lots of lessons then decides to leave the Island to discover more about himself. 

The way it comes across though is good, with the man realising how things are different in the Minecraft world and what he needs to do to 'instantly' make things. I also liked how he made friends with the animals, since there was no one else; a cow called Moo, three sheep called Flint, Cloud and Rainy and some chickens. However, when he's translating the mooing of the cow into conversation it did start to bug me. Kids might find that funny though. The fighting scenes were well described and good too and I enjoyed reading about the battles with the zombies, skeletons and creepers, which for any Minecraft players out there you'll get on board with. 

This book feels like the wisdom of life a way which was something that came to me about 50 pages in when I realised how full the pages were getting with like cliche positive quotes; 'Take life in steps,' 'keep going, never give up,' 'books make the world bigger,' even though these are applied to events that happened with the Minecraft world, they can easily be applied to things in the real world. Which then makes me wonder if that's what Minecraft is a metaphor for? Anyway, I can see these positive messages being good for kids. 

Towards the end of the book, the details of crafting and guide like style do move over for a bit more plot which allows the main character to grow and realise what he must do. I like when he finds the abandoned mine and meets and Enderman! They've always been the scariest monsters for me. He manages to overcome all the problems that face him in the mine, even using some techniques I didn't know about! Afterwards, he reflects he was just using the exploring and fighting as an excuse to put off the one thing he needed to do. So, he leaves the Island to try and figure out even more. The book ends with him saying he's leaving it behind as a guide for the next person. 

Overall, I like this book for what it actually is; a novelized guide to playing Minecraft from a player's point of view but I'm still disappointed because I feel it could have been a lot more. Like the Minecraft Story Mode games which I'm slowly getting into. Will there be any more Fiction Minecraft novels? I don't know but it would be interested to read someone else take on the Minecraft world.          

Thanks for reading and see you next time. 

Please check out my other blog; https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/ where I write a short story everyday. 

Book Review: Sorted! The Good Psychopath's Guide to Bossing Your Life.

Hi readers, 

I was actually going to write another life up date but I decided that this book was far more interesting and also on the topic I was going to write about. 

This is a non-fiction book, which is a rare thing in my bookcase. Not because I don't like reading no-fiction but because finding subject matters that interested me and make me want to finish the book is hard. I saw this guide by chance whilst buying a Christmas present for my mum. I thought it seemed like I good idea. 

It's a follow on book from the first book they did and though there are some references to that, you can easily read this by itself. It's aimed mostly at men, I would say 21-40 odd, which is why it has what I call 'lad dialogue.' It's causal and funny, like men talking in a pub. However, it does stick in your head because you aren't being bombarded with lots of facts and instructions.

So this guide, it's not like a 'how to live your life', it's more like how to improve your habits and behavior at work and social events. It's divided into 3 chapters which are then sub-divided into different sections making it easier and faster to read. There's also images; graphs, timetables and quizzes which allows you to visualize the information.

I've found it very useful because last week I had a bad week at work. A lot of things went wrong and I was really stressed out. Then when I thought I'd done the main task- sorting out a rota, it turned out I'd made two mistakes! This wasn't technically my fault as no one had told me that a certain person couldn't actually do daytime shifts but I took the blame for it and that made me feel more stressed. So, yeah I wanted to write a blog post about that; when your job stops being your best friend and becomes your worse enemy. Which sounds like a good title for a book anyway!

In turning to Sorted! I found a lot of answers and advice that I needed to hear. There is one part about emails and how we are constantly sending and answering emails which has a great effect on the brain and causes lots of tension. The suggestion of checking your emails less, maybe only three times a day, is something I've now started doing. I check in the morning, lunch time and an two hours before I leave. This means that I've stopped clicking on an email every time I hear a ping and it's just made things easier and I feel less demanded.

I also found the part about listening well interesting and I'm now determined to listen to people better and to give them more time to talk. There are other tips; learning how to say no, leaving work at work, mixing actives up at work to keep things fresh, learning to communicate better with people and persuade people correctly into doing things.

Overall, this is a good book for those needing advice about work and social events. I enjoyed reading it and I feel more prepared to change my behavior towards people and work tasks. Hopefully, that'll help improve my work output, social skills, listening skills and general attitude to work.

Thanks for reading and please check out the links below.  Next week is going to be a manga review.

https://www.goodreads.com/user_challenges/7287580

https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

April Life Update: Where have I been?

Hi readers,

So I didn't stick to my plan of blog posts. This is for a few reasons. I've been really busy with my other blog and work. I've three jobs now, just in case you didn't know! So, I'm working 6 days a week then juggling my family, friends, boyfriend and writing. Which means that things have been slipping.

I also have a back log of books to review, so I need get writing that up too! When I find the time.... Some of the books I'm going to group together though because it'll be easier. So, in the next two months I plan to have reviews about: JoJo's Bizarre Adventures, Vampire + Rosario, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, The Sookie Stackhouse/ True Blood series and Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman. Then I'l have caught up on book reviews!

I really wanted to get this post up this week, despite all my business because I wanted to share the good news that I've brought a car! My first car and it's so cool. I'm picking up in a few days time and then I want to do some posts about driving.

There's also a few other things I wanted to share, but they'll have to wait for next week now, because I didn't take any photos. I so need to do that soon.

Hopefully, I can now start finding the time to write more of this blog. I think my other blog has taken over with the A-Z Challenge! That's worth checking out, here's the link: https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

That's it for now. Time to work on some reviews. Thanks for reading! 

March Life Update: The Many Faces Of a Receptionist

Hi readers,

Today I'm celebrating a month into my new full job. This means I now have four jobs! Luckily, they are all with the same company at the same place, but it's been keeping me very busy. So, briefly, last year, I started volunteering on reception at the youth centre. I just wanted to do more and gain some experience in the hope I could then get a second part-time just somewhere else. 

Then though, there was an opening for a zero-hours casual receptionist, just to cover the holidays and sickness of the four full and part-time receptionists. I totally aced the interview and started a few days later. The extra money was useful and I enjoyed actually getting paid for work I'd been doing for free before. 

In late December of last year, one of the part-time receptionists left. Her hours were Saturday evening; 6pm-10pm and I was asked to pick up her shifts, but now I'm contracted to work that shift permanently.  I felt a lot about this because it was steady money! And I didn't mind giving up my Saturdays because I don't do much anyway at the weekends now. 

Then a month ago, my new manager phoned me to say that the daytime receptionist had left and could I come in to do 9-3pm Monday to Friday? I agreed, but I only have a temp contract which finished at the end of this month. I'm hoping that this will turn permanent but nothing has been decided it.

Most people think that working on reception is like a 'cushy' job. All receptionists seem to do is sit behind a desk and answer phone calls, greet people, give directions, information and sit there looking pretty. Well, being a reception at a youth centre is different. I have what is the normal tasks of a receptionist and front of house, like the above, but I also do many admin tasks; signing in/out sheets, time sheet checking, register for visiting young people groups, date input, filing, money handling and the supplying of door key cards which we use throughout the building. 

To be honest, I don't mind taking on admin tasks because sometimes there are time periods were there's not much going on- mostly from 9-12. Plus, these are great skills and experience to have! I have a more to learn and add to my list though, but I enjoy learning new things, so it's fine. 

The other difference being front of house at the youth centre is that you have to deal with children, teenagers, disabled people and parents. Most receptionists just deal with adults and adult problems, but me I also have to deal with issues young people and parents might have which means my communication skills have to be top notch. I have to be able to handle anything; from an angry or upset parent making a compliant, to a child refusing to leave the building, or a teenager who has a disability and needs simple wordings. 

At this moment in time, I'm also training four volunteers to be receptionists! Even though it's hard to juggle that and my other tasks, I'm finding it fun. I love teaching and passing on my skills and knowledge. That's part of the reason I started volunteering at the youth centre in the first place. I'm training them how to deal with phone calls, greet visitors and use our database. 

Two of the volunteers are hair and beauty college students, who want some experience of reception as part of their course in case they need it. The third person is in uni and doing a health and social course, she has no real interested in reception or admin but is just here to get more hours for the completion of her uni placement. The fourth girl, reminds me of myself as she is claiming job seekers and looking for work. She wants a simple job to fit in around her daughter. She's taken to being a receptionist really well too.   

Being a receptionist isn't just all that though as I'm learning. You've also got to the flag of the ship. You are the first person people see and hear, you have to be professional and polite then friendly and chatty too - though not too chatty, no one wants to hear your personal issues or problems! Sticking with the normal topics helps; weather, traffic, lunch etc. I'm also a big representative of the youth centre, even though most people don't think about it when they are phoning to ask for information or coming in for a meeting, but I have to create the first impression with these people and get across my knowledge and passion for the company.

For my colleagues, it's a different face. I'm a listener, agony aunt, a reassurer and a bit of gossiper (which I probably shouldn't be!) I do enjoy a good chat, just not first thing in the morning as I'm still half asleep! I'm also getting use to people sounding off with me and just wanting someone to hear them out about a work or personal issues. Sometimes visitors do that too! Maybe it's my personality and nature, but I think other receptionists can relate to being these things too. 

For the people I train, I've to be teacher. I'm actually fine in this role and I'm not scare to admit to them that sometimes even I don't know what I'm doing! My teaching is very friendly, casual and hands on, which is how I like to learn myself really. However, this doesn't work for others, so one of my tasks is to write some clear instructions for how to use the phone and switchboard on Wednesday as a further aid. 

I also have to be learner myself as there's a lot more admin training I need. I'm currently learning how to check time sheets and find cover for staff. Tomorrow, I'm going to learn how to do the reception team route, which should be an easy task. I also need to learn how to do room bookings and such things. So, yeah it's a busy job! 

Anyway, I'm glad to be home tonight chilling and this Friday I'm off to my boyfriend's for a weekend at his as I'll get a small break then. I just need to survive the rest of the week!   

Thanks for reading and if you want to leave a comment please do, I'd love to hear from other receptionists! Also check out my other blog; https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/ Have a good week! 

Images from: https://pixabay.com a free stock photos.

November Life Update; 'We're All Mad Here."

Hi readers, 

It feels like we've not had a book review in ages! That's because my last one was in September! Part of the problem has been that it's taken me ages to read Interview With A Vampire and The Vampire Lestat. I was also meant to be reading and reviewing Queen Of The Damned, but I'm not going to because the next Black Dagger Brotherhood book is sat on my to-read-pile and I'm so picking that up next! Next Monday though will see my review of Anne Rice's vampires because today I want to write about the other reason why it's taken me so long to read two books. 

My mental health has been really bad lately and it's been due to some medication I've had to go on. Though I've briefly talked about it in the past, I've never gone into details about my long term health problem. I guess because I don't know really where to start or how to write it, but it's also because it's embarrassing and I've hardly ever tell anyone about it. I have in my drafts on here, a blog post titled about it, but I've not been able to bring myself to write it. And now, that I'm sat here writing this, which actually began as an idea a few weeks, when I had decided to try and write about it, I find once again I can't bring myself to do it! 

Anyway, I don't really need to go into details about it because this post is about the medication I'm on and how it effects me. I'm sure some people will be able to relate to this because the drugs are used for other illness too. I guess, I decided to write about because it's a good chance to reflect on things and to remind me that this is just a moment in my life which will soon pass. Plus, maybe it'll help someone else too. 

So, five weeks back I started on a course of steroids to help control my illness, which due to being messed around by my hospital -story of my life that!- had gotten out of control and I was at risk of having to go into accident and emergency to get them to sort out out. Been there, done that and don't want to do it again! I've actually had a lot of courses of steroids over the ten years I've now been diagnosed for. This dose is like my fourth or fifth this year. So, I'm use to being on them. 

Now, if you've ever been on them or other tablets that can effect you, then you'll spent time reading closely what they can do and even though I know, I always re-read the leaflets they give you. I know medication effect everyone differently and this is my personal account of how steroids effect me. 

Firstly, there's the main and biggest one which is my mental health. (And if you were wondering why I choice Alice In Wonderland quotes for this post, this will explain it.) The best way I can explain what steroids do to my brain is to compare it to someone - a child really, who has attention deficit hyperactive disorder. I' m hyper all the time, like I'm running on pure sugar. I don't feel tried and often I can't sleep. I want to do everything all at once and I talk a lot more. My attention span is short and I get bored quick and want to move on to something else. When I do get tried, I crash hard and at the minute I'm getting up to 12 hours sleep, because I'm just so exhausted but I don't feel it. 

I am also having some autistic traits. I don't want to be around people, I want to be alone and I don't really want to be touched. I'm finding it hard to understand simple things that people are telling me or asking me to do. I'm also having trouble communicating back! I know what I want to say, but it comes out wrong or else the meaning of the words isn't right. My sense of hearing also feels changed and I'm hearing stuff in the background more, though a few times what I'm hearing isn't actually there. I'm highly aware of the world around me, especially large groups of people. I'm hypersensitive to touch, so the simplest thing of someone brushing my arm, I feel it fully and a gentle tap feels hard to me. 

I have high levels of anxiety and paranoia, I over worry about things and people even though there's no need. I've had a few anxiety attacks now and they have all been caused by large crowds. My most recent happened last week whilst I was in Manchester with my date. We were on one of the most busy streets and it all got too much for me. I panicked about the number of people around me and what they were all going to do. I couldn't carry on walking and we had to stop next to the large city map. I started crying. I was so over welled by everything I couldn't do anything. 

My date handled it great. Of course, I told him at length everything I'm currently writing. There's no way I could hard this from him and I felt that was an important test of our relationship, because sadly this is a part of my life. He took me off to the side and calmed me a little. He then suggested we go to the book shop, where we had kinda been heading anyway and get off the street. I agreed and we went to Waterstones. It was quiet and I found comfort in the books. I brought two as well! I felt a lot better, though also silly. It's weird because in that moment everything just felt too real to me and I can't describe because there's no way to. But a part of me knew nothing was wrong and it was just an anxiety attack because I'd had a sensory overload. 

I think the last part of how steroids effect my mental health can best be described as having bipolar. I have been having mood swings that either are 'manic' moments or 'depression.' These mood swings come on suddenly and can be caused by everything and nothing. Normally it's stress or just too much happening at once. However, it's also caused by my hunger. This is another side effect and I feel hungry all the time no matter what and how much I eat. Sometimes I'll get cravings for certain foods and it can only by solved by eating that food and if I can't have it I start to get angry. 

For example, on another date, I wanted a jacket potato for tea. Now idea why, but that was what I needed. We past a cafe selling them, but it was only like 4pm, so we decided to come back later. However the shop was shut and I had a bit of a break down over the fact this had happened. My date had to search for the nearest place that was selling jacket potato. Luckily there was another place real close by and once I was eating, I was alot better.

Now the depression side of things normally happens when I start reducing the dose and have only a few weeks worth left, which is actually about this time. I'm on an eight week course and this is now week five. I'm use to how this form of depression is though and know the cause is the drugs and that knowledge helps a little. Still, having low/bad thoughts about myself isn't great no matter what. I hate depression because it's so hard to get out of and it feels easier to just keep falling. I have to combate it by focusing on something like arts/crafts, music and writing alot. 

I also try and talk to people, but this can be hard - even harder when I'm still suffering from the other mental issues too! People don't know how to help me. They don't know what to do or say and this can make things worse. Right now, I just keep telling people, to say to me that it's okay and it'll pass ect. Also, just to listen to me and not even give advice or anything, but just be there for me. Then I feel better, knowing that.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

The other side effects are all smaller in comparing to all of that! I already wrote about the hunger, but I then switch and don't want to eat at all. I don't feel hungry even though I am and I don't want to eat anything. So I end up snacking because I can't face big meals and though I do love fruit and veg and other health treats, I do fall back on the sugar, especially because when the hyper effect is running out and I feel so exhausted, I need the energy back. I also drink a lot and have a thirst for everything. At the minute I've also get my purple bat sippy cup full of water or juice because then it's to hand and it helps. I also put on a lot of weight, which I totally hate, but more now that I've been working hard to loss it! This time doesn't feel so bad though because I've been trying to to do more exercise, so hopefully it won't take me long to get back down again. 

The other side effect I hate is 'rounded face' or 'moon face' my cheeks get really fat and red. It looks like I've put on a lot of weight suddenly or I've had a mild reaction to something. It's noticeable and I really hate it because nothing but being off steroids for a weeks can cure it! That knowledge doesn't make me feel better right now though. 

Remember my line about having hypersensitive skin? Well, it bruises easily too. So at the minute, my legs, arms and stomach have bruise from my restless nights rolling around on my bed and also from my rushing into things during the day. I look like I've been abused, that's how bad it seems. It's not true at all though! Thank God it's winter and I'm covering up all the time at the minute, because there's no way I'd want my legs and arms to be on display at the moment. 

Insomnia is another side effect, but I've not suffered greatly from that this time around. I guess because I'm not going to bed till between 1am-3am that the insomnia doesn't have time to kick in! The nightmares on the other hand have kicked in. It doesn't help I have a very active imagination and on steroids this is heightened. My dreams have felt so real of late that when I awake, it's hard for me to realise that it was a dream or a nightmare. I've had moments were I've done the whole; I'm-awake-no-I'm -not- I'm- still- asleep, -I'm -awake now-...no,- still -asleep! repeating a few times. Then when I finally awake I'm all a panic and it takes me awhile to calm down. Alongside this, one of the rare side effects is hallucination, which isn't been that bad actually and I hope it stays that way! 

I think that covers everything. I so know this post has been long, but I feel better about it all now. I'm feeling a lot better in myself and I'm not in pain now. But I always wonder is the pros worth the cons? For me having to deal with the mental problems is always challanging, but I do over come it and the steriods do help alot and stop me going into hosptial. It's only for now anyway and I've recently started a new drug which should help too. So, soon I'll be back to normal and better then before.      

Thanks for reading and see you next week! 

Ps. If you've got the time please check out my other blog. I write a short story every day, just in case you didn't know that! https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

Also, you can follow me on all these places, if you want to;

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thestoryfiles 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ironmaidenfan9

Pinterest:  http://www.pinterest.com/hails9/

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Google + : https://plus.google.com/u/0/+HayleyHardman

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Images from; 

http://quotesgram.com/mad-alice-in-wonderland-quotes/

http://www.hippoquotes.com/time-quotes-alice-in-wonderland

October Life Update Part 2: Happy Halloween!

Hi readers and happy Halloween to everyone! 

So, it's fallen on a Monday this year, which is pretty cool cause I get to share Halloween on the actual night! Also, though it does mean that I've had to get ahead writing this because I've plans and I'm just so busy right now. Which is good, but also not so good. Anyway, in to this post. So the Jack O'Lantern above is my tester one. I wanted something real simple and quick, which this tree was, but I know it's a bit messing because I had to hurry making it. 

I made this on Thursday because my brother who's just moved out wanted pumpkin pie, which he would have missed out on as he moved on Friday. I'm super going to miss him as we get on great and he's moving far away. Well, about 5-6 hours drive away to Southampton which is past London and we live in Manchester. So, he wanted pumpkin pie and then it seemed a waste to let the outside go to waste, so I used it for practice.

Also, I've been having a go at taking some better photos. So hopefully that'll be useful. So this year I've three pumpkins, which I think is like the max I've every had. I've not carved all three though. I've only every done two. The third one was craved by the new man in my life. We've still just dating at the moment, but things are progressing. This was the first time he's carved a pumpkin! It was actually great fun doing it together. 

Here's the pumpkins before carving.       

This one's mine and I decided to go with a Count Dracula face, but I didn't get it right. So it kind of looks like a weird face. 

This one is my date's. He went with a really scary face. We also switched out a candle for this light up balloon which made his even more creepy.

I think it all went well and they turned out pretty good. I just love shopping in October and all the Halloween stuff really attracts me. I've tried hard not to spend as much money as I normally do, but I think I've not been able to stick to that! The first thing I brought for Halloween was actually this baby werewolf plush soft toy. He's from Build-A-Bear and I just fell in love with him so much! He's so fluffy and I find holding him real calming. Which has been great for my anxiety problem. I could have brought this little ripped up blue denim jacket for him, but then he'd also need pants. I do kind of like him the way he is, but maybe I might make him clothes at some point - be a lot cheaper! 

I treated myself to another bear from Spiral.com this year too. Last year, I got the vampire Vlad and this year I got the grim reaper teddy. They also have a cat with bat wings which I might get next year. These two look so cute together though! Also, they match what my date and I dressed up as, which was a little strange! 

  

I always love all the different cups, mugs, goblets, jars etc that the shops sell and you can get. I don't actually have many myself as I don't use them, surprisingly! However, that changed when I got the purple plastic bat sippy cup! I totally love it and I don't think there's a day gone by since I got it about three weeks ago now that I've not used it! The bats have googly eyes on and it's actually a really big almost a pint I'd say in size. Now, the mason jars. They are huge in America and seem to be growing in popularity here in the UK. I got the white one which has like Witch's drink on it first and then brought the orange for my date to have. So we'd be kinda matching, which I thought was cute. The fourth glass was actually the first I brought and I was thinking of using it more of a tea light holder or maybe a little vase. 

I am a massive fan of candles as most of you know. But we don't get many autumn/pumpkin scented candles here. So when I see one I always end up getting it. I found this abandoned on a side shelf of Halloween masks and though I tried to find some more, I couldn't. I smells great though. I also got the new Yankee Candles scent which was called Forbidden Apple. Which smells awesome, but I do feel let down by it because apple is one of my favorite smells and I have a big Granny Smith scented Yankee candle which smells almost the same to me. I've got a caramel/candied apple too.

Okay, so this year for the trick or treaters I just got a big bag of 'monster' sweets/candy. I made goodie bags last year and ran out, so this year I'm just going with this. I've a sweet tooth but Halloween sweets just appeal to me even more. My favorites are the Chewits fangs, but I can only get them from one shop for some reason! But they are so good. 

My mum actually brought me the Twinkies - we don't have them in the UK and only certain shops - American themed sweet shops have them. But we found these in the world food aisle in a supermarket and I just knew I had to give them a try! They are brought out for the new ghost buster movie, but I guess the supermarket was like they are Halloween-y. They are key lime flavor which is like one of my favourite things, but you can't actually buy a key lime pie or anything else that flavor here. No idea why, I'd love that to change! 

Then there's a packet of witch's fingers which are peanut butter and strawberry jam centered- so tasty. And a big box of fancy chocolates. These are so good and just I could eat them all. My mum originally thought I'd give them out to the kids, but they are too good for that and too cute! 

Halloween fancy chocolates.

I've actually brought a lot of table clothes this year. I got three. Though one I'm actually using as a veil for my costume though! That was the first and it's actually the cloth I used for the table to take this photos with. The second cloth is the colorful plastic one. Even though I'm not having a party and don't need to cover a food table, I thought this would be great for actually going on the table/s outside were the pumpkins are to be displayed. The second cloth is the sliver bat one and that actually has a runner with it too. It was expensive but I love the fabric! Then I got so spider cobwebs as I really need some more that were not white or black.   

 Today, has been really crazy. Had to carve the pumpkins and decorate the house. Luckily, I'd got a few things out of the attic for that, but I think the big box of stuff is under my bed somewhere and I didn't have time to get that. Anyway, the front of the house looks pretty good. It's kinda the same how I had it last year I think. I wanted to get like some gravestones and them dotted around the front lawn bit, but I didn't have the money. I also saw some more skeleton creatures - rats, ravens, spiders, but I couldn't find any when I went back for them. It looks the part anyway.

We put up the decorations up first thing and then we carved the pumpkins. This is how the display looked this year. 

Then finally there's us in our costumes. I went as a vampire bride and he was a grim reaper.

And I just have to show you my dad's costume! This was the one he made last year, but it's still so awesome. My mum and I helped him make it.

We decided to go to a local ghost walk tonight and though we didn't see any ghosts it was fun, and I learnt a little about the town I live in. We walked though the graveyard too and I took some creepy photos.

On Saturday evening, My date and I went into Manchester for a meal to celebrate my new job! I'm now a causal receptionist at the youth center. I've been volunteering on reception for the last 8 months and then this job came up and I totally aced the interview. So we went out to celebrate that. Also, Manchester was dressed for Halloween and there were a few different events on, but I think we must have missed them. Still though, I love the paper pumpkin lanterns in the trees and the gate was pretty cool. The town hall was lit up green, but you couldn't get there because they are busy putting up Christmas stuff and yes that is a big inflated Santa in the background!

Lastly, and I know it's not really got anything to do with Halloween, but I wanted to share this awesome wool I found. It was really cheap and I'm going to knit a nice woolly scarf with it!

Thanks for reading and I hope everyone has had a fun night! See you all next week!

September Life Update 2 : My Love Life Is A Soap Opera

Hi readers,

So today I was meant to do another book review and it was going to be Interview With A Vampire but then I realized I'd have like a week to read The Vampire Lestat and Interview took me like 3 weeks, so I decided that maybe it was best to wait and then I could also do Queen of The Damn too. Plus, also they seem very fitting for October! Also, I'm meant to be going to a steampunk weekend this week and I want to write about that, so it made even more sense to wait.

This post might feel a bit random, but I thought it'd be something everyone could relate too.

As I child and teenager one of the things I really wanted to do was to grow up. Of course, there were other things I wanted, but to break away from my parents, get out of high school, do what I wanted when I wanted it ect, that was the main one. I guess most under 18's feel the same. Then though when you are over 20 or so, you wish to go back to that time because life was so much easier. You didn't have to worry so much about money, other people, were your life was truly going and love. Being a child is frustrating, but being an adult can be even more frustrating.

And currently my love life is very frustrating. In the first week of July, I wrote an update post about thing, which did center around the dating I'd been doing. The post is here; http://hailscrazyblog.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/july-life-update-part-1-what-am-i-doing.html. Briefly though I dropped guys B and C as they weren't for me and guy A dropped me- no idea what went wrong there, so I decided to stick it out with guy D, though I did have a a date or two with two other guys in the early days. One actually made a total mess of the after date conversation and totally put me off seeing him again.

I decided to come off the dating website and just enjoy my time with D. He and I do get along, even though I don't feel the same physical attraction to him as he does me. We have a lot in common and all our dates have been good. Going to Blackpool was the best one though! The thing has been that I can't make my mind up about him. I like D, but not in the whole falling in love way. He's a perfect gentleman - really does remind me of a British Victorian upper class, stiff upper lip gentleman really.

I do like that though. D's charming, caring and likes looking after me, but that only plays to one side of me. One of my other sides demands a wild rawness which he has yet to display. Though I also seek softness, passion and slowness. The child in me craves another child like soul to play with and though he's touched on that side of himself I need more. I have another side that seeks being dominated and surrendering. Yet I also have a side the begs for independence, alone-ness and space. My creative side needs D to be more expressive, adventurous and less controlling. My outgoing side needs him to be more confident, outgoing and louder, so that he becomes more in balance with my nature.

So, you can see this is a big undertaking! I don't expect anyone to be able to satisfy all sides of me and it seems I'm like a few persons rolled into one, which is sometimes how I end up feeling anyway. My ex dealt with it well though and perhaps he's slightly to blame for bring more of those sides out. I'm happy like this though, sure I can do with being less emotional, over thinking, over worrying and self-conscious, but wouldn't everyone?  

Actually, my ex is hanging over me like a ghost and so are the shadows of the past. I can't shake him. Too much I think back and compare him to D or one of the other guys I dated. I know it's wrong and I must stop. You can't compare men like they are shoes. They look and fit how they do, each one is different and individual. They all have their pros and cons too. Sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't no matter how hard you try and maybe that's for the best because one day you'll find the perfect shoes. That's a good if strange way to think about men.

I'm now going to use another example to help explain what happened between me and D this weekend. So far everything has be going well and I've been happy with the casual dating. About a month ago, I invited him for a weekend away in Leeds to take part in a steampunk fair. He agreed and we got a hotel for two nights between us. We decided to have a sort of trail run of spending the night together and also more private time. So, I went to his for Saturday night and now comes in my example.

Now, does anyone remember a '90's teenage drama series called The Tribe? Here's a memory jog;

     

I was addicted to this when I was an teen and I still am today. It has a surprisingly large following still. I'm bring it up because there was a lot of characters who had romantic encounters and relationships which were filled with teen awkwardness and lack/ break down of communication. This kids didn't understand the feelings they were going through and of course in the dystopian world they live in there are no adults to help explain things. So, they had to figure things out and also try and survive. Though they never seemed short of make up and clean clothes!

That teen awkwardness and break down of communication is so what happened at the weekend. There were things he and I both should have said and done that we didn't. It was difficult because we were not alone and I think it was harder for him because this was the first time he'd brought a girl to met his mum. The other problem was we did just want my ex and I use to do; sit on the soft and watch stuff. It was a jump back to a past I was trying to escape from and I just felt let down. On Sunday, he wasn't feeling well but didn't tell me that until we had left to go to the train station. I was mean to him and I said some things I shouldn't have said, but at the time I was angry and upset with him. Okay, I wasn't expecting to be treated like a Princess but he hardly treated me like a guest.

It was on my mind last night and has been on my mind all of today. Why and how had that happened? Who was to blame for a bad weekend? How come he'd upset me so much that I didn't want to see him again? The truth is both of us are to blame. I think me more then him though because I clearly need to be the one 'wearing the pants' in this relationship, which is something I've not done before and have little experience of. It's clearly time to learn!

In fact, whilst I've been writing this post we have been talking on Skype and it seems we have been able to draw a line under that weekend. He wants to put it behind us and fix the attention on Leeds, which promises to be a lot more fun and productive! I do agree, but as I told him, I need him to come out of his shell some more and just be more of himself. He needs to work on his low confidence and we both need to communicate better. I need to let go of the past, move on and stop being so selfish.

Maybe there's hope for us after all, but we'll see.

By the way this photo of a crab was meant to represent me when I get angry and/or upset. I'm too much like my star sign! But it also seemed fitting for what I just wrote too.

If you've got any relationship advice you'd like to share then please do and as always please check out my other blog;  https://thestoryfiles.wordpress.com/

See you next Monday!



Images from:
https://pixabay.com/
http://www.tribeworld.com/2011/series-1-wallpapers-part-2/t1_wallpaper_lg_20/

August Life Update: My Brother's Wedding

Hi readers,

Today I wanted to write a quick post about my brother's wedding. It happened on Thursday at a place called Peckforton Castle in Cheshire, UK. The castle was really lovely and dates to the 1800's, so it's all intact still, not like the castle we stopped at on the way there! There's not much left of Beeston castle, it looks like the ruins of a large tower on a tall hill now. The well was interesting though and you could see a lot from the top, though it was a very clouded day.

My room, photo below, at Peckforton was really nice. I was staying in the top floor of one of the towers. It faced out over the chapel and tower gates as can be seen in the photo above. I had a window box and a fire place, which I'm a lover of both, but I do wish I'd had my parent's bathtub as mine was just a normal bath/shower combo. I didn't sleep so good though, I don't like beds that are not my own and I think on the night of the wedding I was so over-tried that sleep was beyond me! Well....my parents and I had been up till 3am in the wine cellar reflecting on the day.  

I did so want to take a bath in this tub, but I didn't get the chance. In fact everything went so fast, I sort of feel like I missed it all and I so wish I'd taken more photos. Speaking of, I decided I'm not going to post up any photos of anyone but me. That's because it's personal family photos and I do feel the need to ask people if it's okay for them to be published here. Though even if they said it was okay, I'd still feel like this wasn't the place. So, I'm just going to share the photos I think are okay for here.

For the last few months/weeks leading up to the wedding, I'd become worried that I'd be super bored or wouldn't fit in. It had been weighing on my mind a lot, if my dresses were okay and what I'd look like in the photos. Well, beside from the photos - I'm so not good in any photos really- everything else was good. The day went by with lots of things to keep me busy - like chasing around after my brother to drag him in the photo booth and meeting relatives and friends I'd not seen in ages. 

My brother and his new wife had ordered a bird of prey display, an ice cream cart and an string quartet to keep everyone happy whilst they got all the photos out of the way. I loved all these things and I had a lot of ice cream and watched the birds flying about. I even got to hold one! He was an owl and his name was Mango, he also was the bird that delivered the wedding rings at the ceremony.  

This is an eagle hawk. He was a bit scared and didn't really want to fly around everyone. At one point he went off to investigate the ice cream cart and we didn't think he was going to come back! But then he did and everything was okay again.

I tried all the ice cream from this cart, but the vanilla one. It was really nice and since the weather was warm and sunny, it was very fitting. A few people hopped on the bike behind the cart and had their photos took, but I didn't. I have a nice one of the bride though. It was a hit with everyone I think. 

This was the room in the great hall were my brother got married. They then used it as the dance room for the party. The theme was purple and sliver, with a touch of Game of Thrones and Disney. I really liked it and it looked great. The DJ played some good music too - most of it seemed to come off the list I put together online as I reconsidered a lot of the songs! I really loved the table decorations too! They were floating candles with purple flowers underneath them in the water. They were present everywhere and this photo below with them by one of the great hall windows is really nice.  

  

Of course, no wedding would be complete without a cake! Their's was just so awesome. They had Game Of Thrones on the bottom with them seating on the throne at the top. The middle section was images of Totoro, which is the bride's favorite anime and like my second. I love it and it was so cute. The top was Disney couples. each layer was different, but we only got to eat the lemon one. The other two were red velvet and chocolate. I got a good picture of them 'mock' cutting the cake with a big sword.  

I think one of my favorite things was the chocolate fountain. There was lots of things you could get dipped into the chocolate, including mini doughnuts, fudge, fruits and gingerbread man! I think that's one of my new favorite things. I tried to find a photo of the chocolate fountain, because I didn't take one, but it seems that no one else so far has! I got this photo of me eating a gingerbread man, though I don't think it's a good photo, but I wanted to put up something. 

 Lastly, we went into the wine cellar. It was really nice and the perfect place to have a few more drinks before going to bed. My other brother's girlfriend and my next door neighbor ordered some tea and I was surprised that no one had thought to serve hot drinks down here. Like I said at the start, my parents and I were the last to leave. It was such a long day, but also really good. 

I still can't believe how fast it went though! I'm enjoying seeing all the photos everyone else took too. Hopefully, I'll get to see the one from the photo booth and the hired photographers. It's nice to be home, but I do miss the castle. Also, I have a sister now! That's going to take awhile to sink in. 

Next week will be a book review. See you then. 

Photos all my own.