It's not often I openly discuss my faith with someone. I believe that people have the right to choose if they believe or not and what religion they want to be, regardless of how they were brought up. No one should be forced in to a faith when they are old enough to be aware of it and their own minds. This is because religion can be come a massive part of that person and their thoughts and actions can sometimes reflect their religious teachings. I have nothing against any religion and think that there is one that suits each person and that's even if you are in the group that doesn't believe. Historical what religion you supported could have a large impact on your life, but now a days, much more people have turned away from religion and maybe that's because of science and disproving a lot of what we believed had been fact. I also think it's because of the way we are bring brought up and society is slowly losing itself to technology.
I'm a Church of England Christian. I was brought up as one and still believe its' the best faith for me. It suits my own personal beliefs about life and how things should be. This post isn't about getting people to change religions or to prove that there is some higher powers out there, in fact it's like the post I wrote about ghosts, it links in to events and reflections about my life right now and I just want to share things with people and get them thinking a bit differently about their own lives.
Up until this Sunday just gone, the last time I went to a church service was Xmas Eve and the carols by candlelight service. There are a number of reason why I stopped going to church, the main two are because I moved to uni and though I could have attended a church there, I didn't bother. And I stared to loss faith in the victor; no longer finding his sermons enjoyable and inspiring. In fact, I started to disagree with what he was saying in a way. However, I've never completely lost my religion and have held on to my belief. I've always known that you don't have to go to church to speak to God. He is everywhere and willing to listen if you take the time to talk to Him.
I've been really turning to Him of late for a whole number of reasons. First it was the struggle to get over my ex, then the search for a new boyfriend, then the strength to pass my MA and now it's the belief to find a job. Saying prayers at night and asking for God's support and also thanking Him for what I have has been a comfort for as long as I can remember. It's just nice to have someone to turn to and but your trust in. I also know that sometimes my prayers can be petty. I pray for something in my life and really there's so much else going on in the world that is far worse then my situation. Of late I've just been asking God to give me strength and courage and to guide me when I need it, instead of asking for a job directly. I also ask Him to give the same to my friends and family. I like to support them too and ask God for them when they can't.
For some reason, I really want to go to church on Sunday. I'm not sure why, but maybe it had something to do with wanting to get back into the fold of my faith. I picked a good Sunday to go as it turned out to be the Harvest. The church was filled with people all there to give food and money to other people who really needed it. There was also a new victor and she really got people going with her sermon. I think that's a very important part of being a religion's leader! Seeing my old primary school was also interesting and reminded me so much of being a kid and being fascinated by the stories in the Bible. The children were there to help with the Harvest and to be a part of the community during the time of giving.
When I left I felt really calm and like I had found some inner peace. Somehow I knew not to worry about finding a job and that I should just enjoy my free time and fill it with stuff I want to do. I know that soon I'll find a job that's better suited to me, I just have to keep looking and not lose my faith! That can be so hard to do, but I just know that if I believe and keep trying as I've done for other things, that something will appear. Speaking of which, whilst writing just now I had a phone interview for one of the jobs I applied for and I'll be hearing back from them tomorrow if they want to give me an interview. Hopefully, that's a good sign!
I'd like to say that I took this photo, but I didn't. As of yet, I've still been unwell to walk through my woods and capture autumn. Though it's something I plan to do real soon. Autumn is my favourite time of year, because I love watching everything change and nature just seems out in force. I don't like the colder, wetter weather though nor how dark it is, but the beauty that is currently out there is worth it.
Tomorrow, I'll be out in my home city, handing out more CVs and playing D&D. That'll be the next post I write. So for the rest of the day I'm going to work on the first chapter of the novel idea by my boyfriend and also do some reading.
Images:
Author's own collection (St James'. Liverpool)
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/bakya
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